February 9, 2024

The 5 money conversations you need to have with your partner

In this week's episode, Dame, Kristen, and Pete talk about having better money conversations with your significant other.

Episode Transcript

Peter Dunn: [00:00:00] Every once in a while something happens that reminds you of your age This week as I was, thinking about just my life in general I was thinking about work and thinking about my family and a friend came to me and said hey I have a hernia and I said i've got a guy and that's how I know how old I am Welcome to the paint the platter show everyone.

It's painted on kristin. Hello Hello, Dame. Hello. Good day, Dame. I feel like you've got a guy for a lot of things. Do you have a hernia guy? I

Damian Dunn: don't. You said that and I was like, I don't have a hernia guy. I'm not sure. I would have to be referred to somebody for a hernia.

Peter Dunn: One of the great pleasures in life is having a person or a guy that you can turn to.

It's like, hey, I have a tear in my abdominal wall. Stitch it up through my belly button, right? That's my guy.[00:01:00]

What, Kristen? No? It's

Kristen Ahlenius: a, it's an interesting way to describe that, but yeah, yeah.

Peter Dunn: Here's what we're not going to talk about on the show this week. I got a different car this week. What? We're not going to talk about it though. Because I, it just, it's complicated and no one wants to hear about my car. Other than probably you two and a bunch of other people.

Yeah, we'll do it off the air. It was a, it was a very me thing. And it, and it went very quickly and and now I have a different car. So there you go. Oh. I still, it was still a good financial decision. I, the elephant in the room needs to be discussed right now, Kristen. And that's the fact that this potentially could be the fourth week in a row in which Damien is funny.

And I know a lot of people are, are on the edge of their seats right now. Wondering, can he. Be genuinely funny four weeks in a row. Can he [00:02:00] do

Kristen Ahlenius: it?

Peter Dunn: So as you and I prepare to support whatever it is, he's gonna do today Should you and I get on the same page? Should we be just like our normal? Sort of Taste and humor.

Should we be more generous? Should we be tougher?

Kristen Ahlenius: I see. You know, that's interesting because is it, do the stakes continue to get higher? Like we need you to level up, you know? Okay.

Peter Dunn: So this is why I bring this up. Oh, hello everyone. Saying hello. Jeremy Mr. Pinkins, Andy, Jason, Ola Ola. Here's why I bring this up, Kristen, one of the strangest things that I've come to learn is that when people introduce me as a former comedian or I'm going to speak or something.

It makes it harder. The barrier to laughter goes up about three feet. And so Dame's new found reputation is is you know, A comedic genius. I was driving in my car last week, my old [00:03:00] car, Lord last weekend when our radio show airs, you know, cause this isn't just a top 1 percent podcast. It's a syndicated radio show.

So I'm driving and our show is on. And I'm listening to it and Damien hits us with the all Americans joke and I laugh out loud and I was like, man, that's really funny. And so Dame, how's it going to go today? If

Damian Dunn: someone's on the edge of their seat, I'm going to tell him just go ahead and scoot back to the, to the back of your chair, get comfortable.

So that's how it's gonna go. Yeah, we'll see. I never plan on being funny. It's just, it either

Peter Dunn: happens or it doesn't. Wait a sec. Are you related to Heather? Heather Fidler just notes Dame is the funny one. Heather's new. Are you new here? Good morning, Rick Swink. Andy and Rick Swink. [00:04:00] How are those Kristen Co.

coffee mugs we sent you. The, the, the, the whole liquid? They have any holes in them?

Damian Dunn: Pete, did did you was anybody else in the car when you were listening to the show?

Peter Dunn: No. No. Mm.

Damian Dunn: Okay. So, nobody else could confirm that I was indeed funny, in fact, funny to them. I, cause I, it could be that I'm just funny to you.

Peter Dunn: Well, no, here's, here's, where my ego is gonna pop up a little bit more than normal, which is a lot. I know what funny is. Yes. Yes. And, and you've been funny. And so that's where, that's where we'll see what happens today. Anyway, we have a fabulous show today. Andy says the mug is fantastic so far. Still have the handle and a logo and they hold liquid right on.

We did it. We did. Okay. Here's what we're doing today. We're talking, it's Valentine's week. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. [00:05:00] It's Valentine's week. So we're going to talk five money conversations you should have with your. Lover. Okay. And then we're going to do five, what about, what, what's the other one? Five tips

Kristen Ahlenius: for having those conversations.

Peter Dunn: Five tips to have that conversation with your lover. Partner. And then I've got a real life situation where someone wants to buy a house, a single person without a lover. Partner. Partner. See, Kristen takes the laughs today. Kristen, that's funny. That's good.

Kristen Ahlenius: Well, don't that's the bar is pretty low for me though.

It's different. Rick's wink

Peter Dunn: notes that his coffee nug is superb Old coffee then he corrects his spelling but I do like coffee nug better. So sweet Biggest waste of money of the week this week's a pretty good one, too Yeah, I mean, this is gonna be a good show. [00:06:00] Okay. Alright, let's do it.

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh, I got a new phone and I don't know how to pull up the I don't know how to pull up the clock.

Peter Dunn: That's Wait, you got a new phone?

Kristen Ahlenius: I did. Got a new phone. You guys, I haven't had a new phone since 2019. What? Yeah, I just don't believe in getting a new phone because it's the same technology. I even got the same size phone but mine just couldn't do it any longer.

Peter Dunn: So, Dame, can you imagine how much COVID her old phone had?

Ew. I mean, it came around just in the cracks. Oh, yeah. Not great. Okay. Let's do the show. Oh. What? Did Dame freeze? Yes.

Damian Dunn: Is it still frozen? My, my connection, my connection is struggling.

Peter Dunn: Kristen, did you pass this to Dame this week? Because earlier this week, your connection was

Kristen Ahlenius: struggling. That was because a construction crew cut the internet line coming into my entire town.

[00:07:00] That was different. Entire town

Peter Dunn: of seven. Okay. I'm going to do my real estate question first. Okay. Oh, did you not want

Kristen Ahlenius: that? No, that's fine. That's fine. It's just not mentally prepared. But I am now. We're good.

Peter Dunn: I mean, it's just, you know, it's easy. It's the late 10 minutes. It's okay. Yeah. You know what?

Let's give you, let's give you an extra 20 minutes to think through it. We'll start with five tips for your lover, right? Is that what it, what's the show

Kristen Ahlenius: five, five money conversations you need to have with your partner. And I only have four. So one of you has to come up. Okay. And three.

Peter Dunn: This week on the Pete the Planner show, we answer your money questions.

Here's how the show works. You email us askpete at petetheplanner. com. That's askpete at petetheplanner. com. And this week is a special episode of the Pete the Planner show as Valentine's Day is upon us. So we will talk about five money [00:08:00] conversations to have with your Joining me as always are my Radio Plutonic partners, Damian Dunn, no relation.

Good day. Kristen Elenius, no relation. Hello. Five conversations you should have with your partner. Now, Kristen you gotta think staying on the same page as your significant other is a good investment of time and energy. Yeah?

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, but I'm also pretty biased, right? I sought out a whole second degree in the financial therapy space.

So there is, I am a little biased, but, and I also think these conversations totally depend on the stage of your relationship as well. So I hope we can kind of hit. Different types of conversations to have in these five.

Peter Dunn: So are you a doctor? Dan, do we have to call her a doctor? I don't have a I think we should, regardless.

All right, doctor. From here on out, you are Dr. Kristin Alanius. All right. But I do [00:09:00] feel like, Dan, that is also fraudulent if we were to call her that. Also true.

Damian Dunn: Oh,

Peter Dunn: no. Okay. Dame has been funny four weeks in a row. It's official. That was, that was a good callback. Okay. Kristen, what's the first money conversation you should have with your significant other?

Kristen Ahlenius: Perfect. So this is one, if you are in a longer term, like more committed relationship, maybe again, been together for several years, or maybe you're married, we have to talk about. As a household, as a couple, what we want retirement to look like.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, interesting. Dame, you've been married a very long time to a person.

And you also getting to the age like me that it, I'll speak for it. It feels like it's coming into view a little bit more than it has in the past. Are you feeling that or no?

Damian Dunn: Yeah, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that you, as your kids age, you can kind of see what's over the [00:10:00] horizon for them, you know, much sooner than it felt like even a year ago that you don't have to think too hard to see your retirement not too far off in the distance as well.

So retirement seems more and more like a reality that I'm going to be dealing with in the not too distant future. I don't know if you've realized that when you sit down, it's like. I don't have that much longer to get all these things accomplished financially before I'm genuinely considering retirement.

That's me multiple times in the last six months. Is it you?

Peter Dunn: Yeah, for me, it's really more about just get my kids through college and then figure out the rest. Yeah, that's where I'm at. So getting on the same page as your significant other is conversation number one. Kristen, what's the fear there that people will.

One person's like, I want to go move to Florida. And the other person says, I don't like alligators. Like what's the move

Kristen Ahlenius: there. Yeah, I think that's exactly the fear. And in earlier stages of a [00:11:00] relationship, we could be talking about maybe one of you has really aggressive goals for retirement. What if one of you is all about the fire movement, financial independence, retire early.

And the other is like. Whoa, I don't want to sacrifice that much along the way. I'm happy with just what is considered to be like a societal normal when it comes to retirement, 65, 67, whatever, that's a really big difference in opinion in today, but also in your retirement years.

Peter Dunn: At the risk of throwing this whole thing off, you know what I used to see a lot when I actually was a financial planner is that someone, because they had a pension would retire at like 55 and start their retirement.

And the other person couldn't retire and didn't retire. And it just, I don't, I'm trying not to judge. I'm just absurd. It was weird. Yeah.

Damian Dunn: There's friction there. I mean, somebody has, you know, checked out of the workforce and they are enjoying. Spoils of all,[00:12:00]

they're doing it by themselves. The other person is going to work. It's a struggle.

Peter Dunn: Dame is broadcasting from Neptune today. So you'll hear some of his cosmic sounds. Kristen, what's conversation number two? The one should have with their partner.

Kristen Ahlenius: I would say having a conversation before you would have to make any sacrifices about expenses in your life that are and are not negotiable.

Peter Dunn: So example,

Kristen Ahlenius: yeah. Great question. Would love to tell you. So for me personally, I would say that I could not manage a financial life with someone who wouldn't be able to understand that I would quite literally sell my house and live in my car. If my dogs. Needed something that I couldn't objectively afford like that is just non negotiable for me as a human being and that's a really big deal and not everybody could get on [00:13:00] board with that.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, that's interesting. And Dame, do you have an example of something like that? That is just non negotiable. I'm

Damian Dunn: just trying to figure out if I'm going to sound like a 1990s audio clip at this point. Max Headroom Yes, that's exactly what I was going for.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, I got to think non negotiable for me. I don't know.

I also feel, I think there's some gender dynamics here if I can be really honest about this. Kristen, here would be my fear. I, I am in fact a financial expert, but I feel like if I go into my household and I go to my lovely partner of Now, 24 years and say, Hey, this is the way it's going to, it's not going to go well.

So this is non negotiable for me.

Kristen Ahlenius: The next segment will be about tips on how to have these conversations, but I think it's all about being proactive in these spaces to say, you know, Hey, if we're going to reduce some spending, nothing crazy, these [00:14:00] are things that. I really still want to find a way to be able to objectively afford.

Maybe it's drinks after work with your friends on Fridays and saying, Hey, if we're going to cut back expenses, this is really something that I would prefer to not cut back versus you're looking at historical spending together. Maybe you're in a position where you have to cut back and your partner's like you spend 50 bucks a week at happy hour on Friday and we just can't do that anymore.

I think it's about the proactive nature of that conversation.

Peter Dunn: Sometimes Thursday. Kristen, talk to me about the three other types of conversations with the two minutes and 18 seconds we have remaining.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah. We might not be able to hit them all because this one's a big one. Before you commit to financial life with someone, you have to know the reality of their debt.

Peter Dunn: Dame, I remember when you'd go on first dates, you'd. Hand people a copy of the Fair Credit Reporting Act as you'd run their credit at an Applebee's in Allen County. Is this true?

Damian Dunn: All the time except sometimes it wasn't always Applebee's. It could have been Bob [00:15:00] Evans.

Peter Dunn: That's fair Yeah, actually that's an interesting one I've seen relationships end over debt and budding relationships that that big reveal of, Oh, by the way, I've got 90, 000 in credit card debt.

I've seen that happen.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah. I think it's about getting ahead of that at a time that's appropriate. I'm not saying it's first date material. But as a relationship is progressing to a more committed longer term place, knowing the reality of, Hey, you know, I have some credit card debt or Hey, I have a mountain of student loan debt because the reality is, is that when you merge financial lives that whether you truly take ownership of those liabilities or not, they still impact your financial reality.


Peter Dunn: me the next conversation. What do you got? What's the, what's the fourth one?

Kristen Ahlenius: This is an ongoing conversation. What are our top three financial priorities right

Peter Dunn: now? Yeah, I like that one because sometimes someone can just get [00:16:00] sidetracked, something catches their interest, and then they don't talk about it.

And then there's this hidden grudge that you don't know I exist. Exactly.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, it's about staying in front of that because to your point, life happens, and you might think something is a priority one minute, and then the next minute you're getting a new car on a Wednesday.

Peter Dunn: It was a Monday. Excuse me. All right.

Let's do this. Let's take a break. We will come back very quickly with the fifth. Money conversation you would have with your significant other and then five tips for having these conversations with your partner It's Valentine's Day week here on the Pete the planter show and for us that means Communication and flowers and chocolate and maybe some wine all that's next on the Pete the planter show except for the wine I'm Pete the planter.

That's what happens when you start the outro like Three minutes too early.

Kristen Ahlenius: I don't have a fifth one. So I'll come up with


Peter Dunn: Okay

Damian Dunn: So do [00:17:00] I need to restart my computer again?

Peter Dunn: Well, I thought of that, but then I also thought, well, what would that do? Apparently nothing.

Kristen Ahlenius: Is it, is your speed test suggesting that this should be happening or do you think it's your computer?

Damian Dunn: I don't know. My speed test was, it was perfectly fine. It wasn't 130, but it was upper

Kristen Ahlenius: 90s. Yeah, that should not be a problem.

Peter Dunn: You need to work at a place that's got better work machines, you know, that can provide you with a better

Kristen Ahlenius: computer. And what's interesting is he doesn't freeze or anything when he's listening to us, but as soon as he starts to talk, then it's like his computer can't, like his then video is garbled too, which makes no sense.

Peter Dunn: You would know, doctor. Do you have Valentine's Day plans? Are we allowed, is this like, do I have to sign a form if I ask people these things, like what you could do anything? Who, me? Yeah. No. [00:18:00] Game, you and Mrs. Advice do anything for Valentine's Day?

Oh. Wait, can you even hear us Dame?

Damian Dunn: Like every fifth word. I, I don't have a choice. I have to restart. I'll join you in the next segment at some point. I

Peter Dunn: apologize. Okay. Boy, this isn't funny.

Damian Dunn: Good thing I got it in early.

Peter Dunn: Wow. Can you imagine? The pressure? Yeah. Oh boy. Okay. Bye Dame. Oh, Kristen, just you and I here in Valentine's Day week show Mrs.

Planner and I are going to try to go to dinner because we've got like 90 minutes to do so before we have to pick up the weirdos. So, okay. Let's just go back to the show. I'll come up with a fifth conversation thing on the fly and then you give your five tips on better conversations in three. Back on the Pete the Planner show, talking the types of conversations you should have with your significant other about money to [00:19:00] ensure the romance stays alive.

Kristen, does that capture what we're talking about?

Kristen Ahlenius: I think that was perfect. I would have said it exactly like that.

Peter Dunn: I want to talk, the fifth conversation is the emergency plan conversation, not the emergency fund conversation, the emergency plan conversation. What happens if something goes wildly wrong?

What do you do? Who do you call? Sure. I run the finances in my particular household. If I you know, get hurt, can't talk, whatever, which if I can't talk, people are pretty excited. But if, who do you go to? Yeah. Here's the, here's the person. Here's the plan. I think that's a conversation you have once every few years just to ensure it's the same person.

That seems reasonable. Right? I think

Kristen Ahlenius: it does seem reasonable. And as at the level of the couple, it also keeps you accountable to keeping other plans up to date. Because if you're like, Hey, we haven't had this conversation in a little while. And you say, Okay. Oh, wow. Our adult children are, their [00:20:00] guardianship is still listed in the documents that we have should in our Pete's dead binder.

Like, okay, does that necessarily make sense? So I think it also keeps you accountable to updating and improving those conversations. I know how

Peter Dunn: to excite Mrs. Planner this Valentine's day. I'll bring up the idea that I could possibly not be around. She'll be like, Oh wow, things are heating up. Okay.

Kristen it's one thing to have particular conversations, but. There, there are best practices to make sure those conversations go well. So help us understand what those elements

Kristen Ahlenius: are. Yeah. So I would, we'll start with, because you're the one on the show right now we'll start with, make sure that you're both prepared to have a money conversation.

And I say that because Pete, I think you and I. are similar in this vein of this is something, this is a behavior I've had to unlearn because my natural tendency is to let something bother me and then just like announce it and be [00:21:00] like, yeah, it's time to talk about it. And I feel like you're maybe the same way.

Like you're on your flight home from a work trip and you're sitting, you know, Delta first class and eating all the snacks because that's what you get in first class. And you, you have your computer open. You're going through your budget and you start to like, feel some financial anxiety about maybe some stretch goals.

You know, you land, you send Mrs. Planner, a calendar invite for dinner. You're like, Hey, let's talk about it. Something tells me that's your natural tendency is to just like, kind of let it get to this point where she immediately has to be

Peter Dunn: involved. That sounds like fan fiction. I don't think any of that remotely true.

That is so true. It isn't. I'll say this. I, I'm maybe this isn't helpful in the 24 years we've been married to the 24th year. I don't feel like I've. Ever confronted or heard about money ever. If someone's doing something stupid, it's me. [00:22:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay.

Peter Dunn: Fair, right? Like I, I think that's the weird, the secret behind all of this is like I never go seriously, do we really need this easy cheese?

Yeah. Like, never me.

Kristen Ahlenius: Touche. And I think that you're a more empathetic person than that, but I do think that the preparation side of a conversation is potentially where like maybe yours and my personality is like something that we have to like take a step back and like feel prepared to have this conversation.


Peter Dunn: I'm a fan of saying if, if we are going to talk about money in our house, which we do I'll say, Hey, this weekend, can we take 20 minutes to talk about some financial things? It's all it takes. Just let people get their head around it. Yeah. All right. What else?

Kristen Ahlenius: The number one tip, in my opinion, is to remember that different people raised you.

Peter Dunn: Well, I mean, in most states that works. The

Kristen Ahlenius: reason for that, oh, the reason for that is because we've [00:23:00] talked on this show about how so much of what we know about money is observed, learned behaviors from our childhood. What we know about money is often caught, not taught. And you and your partner didn't grow up, even if you grew up in the same town, you still didn't grow up in the same day to day environment that shaped your thoughts, values, beliefs about money.

And it is not reasonable to expect to just come to the table and be on the same page about money conversations. It's an ongoing thing and it takes work.

Peter Dunn: Damien. When you think about that, the different people raised you sometimes. As you try to select your own behavior around money, you're running from what you were taught, as opposed to, to what you were taught.

How, how often in the work that you all do talking to people in their financial lives, do you see that people are actually running from what they saw?

Damian Dunn: It's not uncommon at [00:24:00] all. And frankly, sometimes they don't even realize that that's what they're doing. They may have internalized some behavior that they witnessed or they experienced when they were younger, or maybe even as an adult, and they have some life event that changes their perspective.

And they decide that they aren't going to repeat it, or maybe they just subconsciously don't want anything to do with it. And they have behavior that with it. May what would certainly impacts them and sometimes to their detriment based off of what they've internalized

Peter Dunn: and it's natural, right, Kristen. I mean, it's just you learn from other people's mistakes and you certainly don't marginalize or trivialize the challenges that those people had.

But you say, well, look, if I'm faced with that same scenario, I had a little distance from it. I could see it, observe it a little different. It wasn't as emotional for me. Here's how I would do it differently.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah. And that really dovetails so nicely into the next one, which is to empathize with the behavior behind the numbers.

Like you just said, sometimes people are running [00:25:00] from financial behaviors. Sometimes they are trying to mimic good financial behaviors. So maybe your partner is, you know, a real penny pincher and, but is it because they grew up in a house where they often had to do without? And they're afraid of coming back to that place.

And you might just view your partner as a real cheapskate or, you know, the opposite could be true. Maybe they grew up in a house without a lot of guardrails around money. And now as an adult managing their own adult money, they have trouble putting those natural guardrails in place. So trying to see your partner for the human that they are and not looking immediately to, Hey, why did we spend this money or why can't we spend this money?

Peter Dunn: Yeah. I, I've, I have a rule around that, that when someone is so emotional or, or, or, or does something that I disagree with, right. Well, and again, this is the world at large. What I try to do is to say, [00:26:00] You know, if they were correct, let's say, like, I disagree with them, but let's say they were correct, you actually feel that their actions and emotion are justified, right?

It's to say, you know what, if I felt that way, I would have done the same thing. Because sometimes when you disagree with someone you forget that if they really, really believe that, and you really, really believe that, then you would do the same thing. And so I even think politically, that's like a huge thing for me of like, sure, I think what I think and I might disagree with other people do, but what I do is like, okay, if what they're saying is if they believe it to be true, of course, that's, that's what's going on there.

So I don't know, you know, politics, marriage, same thing, right? Yeah, absolutely. Tip number four.

Kristen Ahlenius: Normalize money conversations. If we're having more money conversations, if we're having lower stakes money conversations, they don't have to feel quite so intimidating because if we're [00:27:00] not talking about money.

On a regular basis, it tends to be big or problematic conversations that we're having, and that's what makes them feel so high stakes.

Peter Dunn: Dame, without you revealing more than you want to, you have two money experts in your house, both adults, maybe two budding ones as well. Who knows? I gotta assume you talk about money a on a different level and be less frequently because you would seem aligned.

Is that a fair assessment or do you guys talk about money all the time?

Damian Dunn: It depends. We, we had a money conversation this morning and in fact, so it just kind of entirely depends on what we are facing in, in our financial upcoming financial life or if we're talking about goals or if we see a big expense on the horizon, we're going to do whatever we can to make sure that it's out there and we have that conversation and we at least acknowledge it amongst each other.

Peter Dunn: All right. Well, let's do this. Let's take a break. So everyone can go start those conversations and we come back a real life, a housing scenario. Should a person [00:28:00] use the IRA to buy a house? That's next. I'm Pete the Planner. It's a little more nuanced than that, but you'll see that went fast. Dame, you sound a little bit better.

So we'll just try to have you talk in short bursts so that you don't,

Damian Dunn: Do you want me, Chris, do you want me to give the news to Kristen


Kristen Ahlenius: week? Don't do that to me. Yes. Come on,

Peter Dunn: give it to me. Give it to me. I want to see if I can do it. And then you guys, I, okay, here's what we'll do. I'll do the news, but I can't make any jokes.

What if they're on you? Like Kristen, you do the jokes. You I'll, I'll read something you've never heard of. And then instantly you come up with something hilarious.

Kristen Ahlenius: That is like so far outside the realm of possibility.

Peter Dunn: No, that's what we're going to [00:29:00] do. I am not funny.

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh, come on. I'm not fun, nor am I funny.

Peter Dunn: No, that's fair. Oh yes. Okay. Dave, let me see if I can get into this first here.

Damian Dunn: Dave, you can, you can ignore all the stuff that says like story one, the story five, do whatever you want.

Peter Dunn: Oh, this is great. Okay, got it. This is fun. Okay let's do my segment here now. Are you ready to go? I'll just give you the details on the fly.

Okay. Three, two, one. Back on the Pete the Planner show. Dame, I have a friend.

Congratulations. Yeah, yes, thank you. Yes. I have a friend and I was talking to my friend. My friend just turned 28 years old So I'm gonna give you a bunch of numbers and tell you what's going on My friend was just told that she can no longer live In the place that she's renting because there were reef doing it.

So she has to move by june. She planned on [00:30:00] buying a house in the next couple of years. And now she's feeling a little, her hand is forced a little bit to some degree, but she also has enough stability that she potentially is in position to buy a house. I want to go through some, some of the mechanics of this thing.

Ask me whatever you need to know. I feel like I know some stuff, um, has a full three month emergency fund set aside. Okay. Okay. Has at least 10, 000 to put down that is in cash. Okay. Has an old IRA, an old 401k that they were about to roll over into an IRA to the tune of about 10, 000. Okay. This would be this person's first.

Time home purchase. No. Okay. And the value of the home is just under 200, 000 and They currently [00:31:00] have a roommate in their apartment and their roommate is gonna move in with them in this house Theoretically, and so then their take home or pardon me their their take home pay It's only the mortgage will be 20 percent of their take home pay After the roommate ships in.

Okay, so the question is a should the person put they can't put 20 percent out. They just can't. But should they put 20, 000 down 10 percent down 10, 000 coming from their regular savings and then this 10, 000 theoretically coming from the first time homebuyer exemption off of a qualified plan. And by the way, the mechanics of that, I need to know.

I don't think you can do that straight from a 401k. I think you would actually have to roll it to an IRA first, then take the withdrawal out of that. But then I don't know if there's a five year holding period involved with that before you make that move. So [00:32:00] I'm gonna pause here, take questions and thoughts.


Kristen Ahlenius: do we know anything about

Peter Dunn: retirement? I would say they're on, on, they're saving the right amount of money. But they're, again, they're 20, just turned 28. So they are saving the right amount of money. Okay.

Kristen Ahlenius: The roommate, do we know how firm this roommate situation is? Like the roommates for sure move into?

Yes. Okay.

Damian Dunn: What do things look like if the roommate bails?

Peter Dunn: It's a good question. Well I would assume then that pushes the more, I don't know how much higher, I mean is it, it wouldn't be 40 percent then would it?

Kristen Ahlenius: Well if the roommate's paying

Peter Dunn: half. Yeah that's, that's what I'm, I'm just getting at here too.


Kristen Ahlenius: My question is, Do we know for sure that this person prequels? They did. Okay.

Peter Dunn: Six and a half percent interest rate too, by the way. Which [00:33:00] is pretty good. Now.

Kristen Ahlenius: It's better than bad. Like.

Peter Dunn: Didn't we climb back above seven recently? Yeah.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah. You're not wrong about that. Okay. So here's kind of my gut reaction is why do we have to take the IRA money?

Okay. Okay. If the home per, if the monthly payment is objectively affordable, especially with the roommate, like, why does the IRA money have to be part of it?

Peter Dunn: That's interesting. Dame,

Damian Dunn: I mean, that 10, that's going to double how many more times between now and retirement? It's, yeah, that's a significant amount of money.

Peter Dunn: 10 to 20, 20 to 40, 40 to 80. 80 to 160, and then maybe get the next doubling 160 to 320? Yeah. The 320, 000 decision? Yeah. I, [00:34:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: to me, the amount of money that you put down serves two purposes. Proof that I'm able to save and potentially makes a home more affordable. But if this person can objectively afford the payment without the 10, 000, they have proved that they're capable of saving.

They have a three month emergency saving and 10, 000 independent of the IRA. They, for me, have checked that box of I'm capable of doing this, assuming the money wasn't like inherited or something and they just like came into it. But if they've actually saved that money along the way, I don't think you have to touch the IRA.

Peter Dunn: I'm going to have to make some guesses here. Okay. So, I believe they are the type of person who has been able to save it, but I don't know that for fact. So Dame, maybe to Kristen's point here, let's say for a second, it was inherited. How does that change your thinking about this situation that the three months expenses set aside [00:35:00] in bridge fund, it's inherited.

Let's say the 10, 000 that's saved for the home is also inherited. How does that change this for you?

Damian Dunn: I would like to know how long it took to get the 3 months worth of savings built up and have they ever dipped into it? And how long did it take to refund that emergency fund? Is this something that's happened very, very slowly over a period of time?

Or did they have the latitude and their month to month finances that they can. Pull money out and really focus on saving that cash.

Peter Dunn: I hear you on that and I'm not disagreeing with you But I guess I think the three of us know this the real emergencies start the second you become a homeowner the second that you you are older than 28 years old like Not that 22 to 28 isn't hard but 22 to 28 as a renter as a single person, there's just not as many emergencies that sort of pop up in everyday life as someone in their thirties with a house, right?

Kristen Ahlenius: [00:36:00] Yeah. Homeownership emergencies, just, I mean, they can wreck an emergency fund. That's just the reality. And when I hear the home price, depending on where we're looking at geographically, that home. I can think of areas where we're talking about a 200, 000 house that in my head, I'm like, holy cow, over time, this is going to need a lot of work.

In other areas, it's like, no, this could be a perfectly fine purchase from a cash flow, future cashflow perspective. But I absolutely think the age, the condition those other variables around the house itself would sway my decision one way or another.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. I also think, I don't, can she just put down 5%?

And then just do it structurally alone that way as opposed to 10 because he's not going to do 20. I guess the biggest, here's the two biggest things that would scare me. Number one, the, the, the roommates there for 18 months, Vamonos, and then what do [00:37:00] you, what do you do? Your rate's jacked up, or your payment's jacked up.

The other thing that would worry me there is that condo fees. I believe this to be a condominium the person's moving in, and I feel like if you've never paid for those before, you somehow ignore them in the purchase process, and there's another 350 bucks a month before you know it. Mm hmm.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, that's exactly it.

So what if this person because they're almost acting like their own landlord a little bit. What if instead of taking all of the money that their roommate pays per month and putting it toward the mortgage, what if they create like a little house emergency fund as like a, this is my residence, but this is my rental because it sounds like they would need a roommate for the foreseeable future anyway.

So it's like, Hey, let's start this like renter emergency fund for the room that I would rent out to this current roommate or maybe potentially a future roommate.

Peter Dunn: So Dame, that's interesting. Cause what you could do is instead of allocating [00:38:00] only 20 percent of your take home pay, you allocate 30 percent of yours and then use that 10 percent overage to set up.

Kristen. I'm, I kind of love that.

Kristen Ahlenius: Not just a hat rack, my

Peter Dunn: friends. Oh my gosh. I don't think you should make hat jokes to two bald men on the radio. I think it's insensitive. I'm sorry. No, it's all right. I do love a good hat though. All right, let's do this. We're going to take a break. Dame's having sound issues this week, so he can just, you know, say things here and there.

That means this week's Biggest Waste of Money of the Week, I will deliver and I will also live my lifelong dream. Of reading the news on my own radio show for the first time ever. Oh, I know you're excited. Kristen's excited because she's going to be the one that's going to have to deliver all the jokes off the top of her head to make this segment entertaining.

All of that's next right here on the Pete, the planner news hour. I'm Pete, the planner.[00:39:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: Why?

Peter Dunn: Why? I don't know. I Dame, it is fun watching her get uncomfortable, isn't it? Yes, because she

Damian Dunn: grows

Peter Dunn: every time. I agree. So put a hair on your chest. You know, that's what my dad used to say.

Kristen Ahlenius: I'm tired of growing. You guys told me I had to grow two years ago when I started being on this show. Can't I take a break yet?

And look at, look

Peter Dunn: at you now. You're a homeowner. Media darling. Were you in Indiana when you started back on the show?

Kristen Ahlenius: I have been on this show in Indiana. I have been on this show in Texas, and I have been on this show in Arizona, but as a regular figure on this show, Indiana.

Peter Dunn: Kristen and Co. Ah, for those wondering, our group chat, which Kristen accesses on her brand new phone, is called Kristen and Co.

That's the name of our group chat.

Kristen Ahlenius: You did [00:40:00] that. I did not. Let's be clear. It

Peter Dunn: could also be called Kristin and the Olds. Yeah, that actually is pretty good, too. Yeah. Kristin and a guy who has a hernia guy. And another guy.

Okay. Let's do the show. Okay, a little more logistics than normal here, but that's okay. I'll figure it out on the fly, Kristin. I'm not Just kidding. Just trying to make you feel bad. You know. Three, two What? This week's biggest waste of money of the week right here on the Pete the Planner show is the Deced DS 600 snake sectional sofa.

Produced in Switzerland in 1972, the Deced DS 600 snake sectional sofa [00:41:00] is a mid century design icon. The modular sofa is made of 25 pieces that can be zipped together into endless configurations. Versatile and functional, owners can choose to wrap it around coffee tables in a half circle, or create a free flowing form to slither through living spaces.

Like it's namesake the cognac how timeout How do you pronounce cognac? Yeah, I don't know. I was oh, that's terrible The cognac brown leather upholstery has developed a unique patina over the last 50 years While the back is covered in dark brown felt Okay, Kristen how How much is this 52 year old couch?

That's 25 pieces. So

Kristen Ahlenius: just so that I'm clear, this isn't [00:42:00] a design from the 70s that they've been redone. This is a vintage couch.

Peter Dunn: It does. I mean, I'll be honest, as I look at it, Dame, doesn't it seem as though this was at Wilt Chamberlain's house at some point? Yes. Looks like it had seen some things.

Kristen Ahlenius: This couch is thousands of dollars.

This couch is

Peter Dunn: she's good. That girl is good.

Kristen Ahlenius: This couch, you guys, I love mid century furniture and some of the prices of mid century furniture are just unbelievable. So I just have to decide at what level of unbelievable this is. This couch is 20, 000.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Damn.

Damian Dunn: I was going to say 25, 000, but I will, I'll go higher.

I'll say 40, 000.

Peter Dunn: 49, 500 for what looks like Wilt Chamberlain's old couch. [00:43:00] Dame what's in the news, but here's the thing this week, since Dame's having some mic issues. I will read the news. If there was goods to America, Mexico would be atop the podium. Gleefully chomping on a gold medal last year, Mexico clinched the title of the U.

S. 's number one goods supplier, elbowing China out of the top spot for the first time in nearly two decades. The switcheroo is as much about China stumbling as it is about Mexico taking the lead. The trade imbalance between the U. S. and China is the smallest it's been since 2010. Sure, part of that might be the U.

S. cutting back on pandemic inducing buying binge, yet it also hints at China's waning mojo as America's favorite shopping mall. All right. I don't know what to do. How do you transition out of reading?

Kristen Ahlenius: That's hilarious question for the [00:44:00] group. Do we think, do we think that it's about. The proximity, like the, the driver is the cost to ship goods and because of the, the, our local economy to say that, okay, things are more expensive, where can we save money? Is it on the, what we call it freight to get those goods?

What do you guys think is, is the real driver

Peter Dunn: there? Yeah. Dame, it's the tariffs, right? Yeah,

Damian Dunn: well, tariffs. I mean, if if you would have read further in the story, you'll see that. I mean, there are some huge tariffs being mentioned in certain political campaigns up to potentially 60 percent on Chinese incoming imports.

If if someone should regain the White House. It's geopolitical stuff. I mean, there's almost certainly some, some financial costs in considerations for shipping in there as well, but it's there, but China is [00:45:00] trying to sidestep a bunch of that by infesting a ton of cash into Mexican manufacturing, trying to sidestep those tariffs too.

So they're trying to

Peter Dunn: play the game. Also in the news, JPMorgan Chase has announced an ambitious plan to construct 500 new bank branches over the next three years, marking a significant expansion in its growth strategy. Kristen, this multi billion dollar initiative has already seen the bank open over 650 branches and expand into 25 new states.

I didn't realize that we had 75 states now. Wait, can I do the jokes and read? Guys. I can't banks are still opening

Kristen Ahlenius: because it's people like you.

Peter Dunn: Oh, whoa. Wow.

Kristen Ahlenius: People that have to pay their mortgage in person. That's why they're opening more

Peter Dunn: branches. I, are you saying that I've set off a worldwide trend to make people pay their mortgage in person?


Kristen Ahlenius: might call you an influencer.

Peter Dunn: Dame, [00:46:00] last time you went to a bank for an in person transaction.

Damian Dunn: It's been a couple of years, and I bet it's been a couple

Peter Dunn: of years. And Kristen, you talk tough about your banking relationship. When's the last time you went to a bank and did something in person?

Kristen Ahlenius: For my personal finances, I don't even have a physical bank.

I bank online exclusively.

Peter Dunn: I've made like business deposits and things because you just kind of have to, but I have not been in a long time for a personal thing. You know what I mean? A personal Don't you What? Other than my mortgage payment. Oh. Well, that's literally every month. A Federal Reserve Bank of New York report reveals a staggering 1.

13 trillion in total American credit card debt with a significant 50 billion increase in the last quarter of 2023 alone. This rise in debt coincides with a noticeable uptick in delinquencies, especially [00:47:00] among younger millennials who are also struggling with hefty student loans. Dame, how do you come up with like pithy questions right out of like, this is so much harder than I thought it would be.

Damian Dunn: I'd I'm, I'm glad you're getting to experience this.

Peter Dunn: Kristen,

Kristen Ahlenius: give me a joke. I don't have a joke. I have a real question though. Can we look, I want to empathize with my fellow millennials. I really do gentlemen, but can we really blame student loans for missed credit card payments when tens of millions of us didn't make the first

Peter Dunn: payment?

That's interesting, right? Tens of millions of people miss their first payment in October, right? Right. Like 40 million or something? Like, oh, it's

Kristen Ahlenius: something ridiculous. There's, there's, oh, there's like 44 unique million borrowers, but it was like a third or something. The number was crazy.

Peter Dunn: Dane, what do you attribute that to?

[00:48:00] Just people still coming out of the stimulus years of 21,

Damian Dunn: Some of it was going to be they're making a statement. They don't want to make those, those payments. They don't think they should have to. Some of it was probably legitimate. They didn't know they had to restart. Maybe some of it was, they didn't know who to send the payment to.

There was all sorts of confusion coming in October. But now, now why aren't people making those payments? I think that's the better question. And. I don't have a great answer other than they just don't think they can

Peter Dunn: afford it. This incident might mark the moment when AI transitions from a theoretical to a practical threat.

Hong Kong authorities have reported a case where a finance worker was tricked into transferring 25 million dollars from his company's funds to fraudsters. These scammers employed deepfake technology to impersonate the company's UK based CFO during a video call. Despite initial doubts about being targeted by a [00:49:00] sophisticated phishing attack, the employee was convinced by the realistic appearance and voices of what he believed were his colleagues artificially generated by AI.

Confident in the call's authenticity, he proceeded to send approximately 200 million Hong Kong dollars, or around 25. 6 million. dollars. Holy cow. You guys, that seems bad. That's terrifying.

Damian Dunn: Yeah, it's terrifying. I, you cannot personally, I cannot believe or half of what I see or maybe anything I see or hear on the internet anymore.

Peter Dunn: There was a thing going around here every once in a while where people will get fake texts from me. And then we just had to tell Peter will not text you. He's not wondering how it's going, like he's not gonna text you on a Saturday and say, send me 25 million. Okay. That's it. The news is so much harder than it appears to be.

Dame just makes it look easy. And that's why [00:50:00] it's good. Send you good vibes because good vibes are all that's in the budget. I'm Pete, the planner, and this is the pizza planner. Show. Well, I think we all just learned a very important lesson. Did we not?

Damian Dunn: I'll let the audience decide.

Peter Dunn: Kristen, have you ever done?

You've done that. You've done the news.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah. You make me do the news when Dame's gone. Oh, well,

Peter Dunn: that's hard. It

Kristen Ahlenius: is hard. That's why I don't like it when he's gone.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. Well, I'll say this, that I was waiting for more jokes from you and they just didn't come.

Kristen Ahlenius: I tried to tell you that I am not

Peter Dunn: funny. Oh, whatever.

Okay. Dame, do you think you can feed the hamster a little better next week? So your internet's better?

Damian Dunn: I don't know what's going to happen. It's been kind of spotty all week. I'm not sure how I'm going to get this fixed, but I may have to make some, some very important phone calls to get this remedy.

Peter Dunn: You think it's solar flares could be I [00:51:00] watched Armageddon. All right. I'm going to give you two recommendations for shows to watch. We already talked about that. We are the world video, right? We talked about that last week. What are you talking about? You

Damian Dunn: mean the old, the old

Peter Dunn: school video? Yeah. Have we talked about this in the air?

No. I don't think so. There's a documentary on Netflix about the, we are the world video that was recorded in 1985.

Damian Dunn: Yeah. Kristen, you weren't,

Peter Dunn: you weren't alive. And it was incredible, like truly an incredible show. So watch that. It's about an hour and a half long. Amazing. And then I watched a Ric Flair documentary on Netflix.

I'm not a big Ric Flair guy per se. I'm not a wrestling fan. Interesting. Also learned a lot. Did you

Damian Dunn: walk around at all and say,

Peter Dunn: Woo. I didn't because my wife would be annoyed. Okay, well, that's this and that's that [00:52:00] and that's the news. Is that what you say, Dame?

Damian Dunn: I'm Damien Dunne, you're still you, and that's the news.

Peter Dunn: Oh, he's so good at it. I really, I'm humbled. Like, I'm like, that was so much harder than I thought it would be.

Damian Dunn: The news kind of sucked this week. There wasn't a whole lot that was, was worth pulling. So you, you had a tough hand. To play

Peter Dunn: listen to him. I think he facilitated this with like, Oh, my internet's down.

Let's All right, let's go good day to both of you good day to all the people out there in the world stay getting money