May 3, 2024

Should a new relationship help pay-off old debts?

On this week's episode, Dame, Pete and Kristen debate whether or not a new relationship is a get out of debt jail free card.

Episode Transcript

Peter Dunn: [00:00:00] This is going to be a heck of a show. It's Kristen's birthday. So we got a solo shot of Kristen on the live stream. Hello, Kristen. Hello, Pete. Happy birthday, friend. Thank you. Can you please take me off the screen now? We're going to keep you on the solo shot for a little bit here, Dame. Hello. Hey Pete.

Coming live on location from your pet store. Yes. Dame's got Like a thousand sparrows

Damian Dunn: chirping outside of his broadcasting barn. I I think yeah I think some birds might have made a nest in One underneath one of the eaves of of my barn So I may have to go take care of that after the show today. If

Peter Dunn: you were

Damian Dunn: governor Christy

Peter Dunn: Gnome You would murder them.

All right, so Kristen happy birthday it is do Well, I'm going to take you off the full screen here.

Kristen Ahlenius: Thank

Peter Dunn: you. Do, is this a, this is a notable birthday but are we talking about that or like, what, what's your comfort level there?

Kristen Ahlenius: I mean, we, we [00:01:00] hinted the fact that I'm younger than you guys all the time, and we're talking about how it's a notable birthday, so I feel like it's pretty obvious that I'm 30 today.

And I'm, I'm having a hard time with it, gentlemen.

Peter Dunn: 30 years old. I

Kristen Ahlenius: know.

Peter Dunn: Dave, do you remember when you were 30? Barely. I barely remember. Before I had kids. Yeah. I remember that. But that's, those birds are amazing. Hold on everyone.

Kristen Ahlenius: It is incessant.

Peter Dunn: That's unbelievable. I feel like we're watching chicks incubate, you know? Yeah, sure. Kristen, did you ever, when you were a young lady, I'm not the, well, you aren't now, but when you were a younger lady, did you ever think that you'd spend your 30th birthday on a live stream with two old bald men [00:02:00] at a nest full of birds.

Kristen Ahlenius: I did it was not on my bingo card for my 30th. That's for sure.

Peter Dunn: And Kristen, by the way, last week you did a super cut of the show and you send it to Dame and I of me just staring up into space during elements of the show, did you. Did you post that anywhere or did you just keep it for our own personal use?


Kristen Ahlenius: was, it was just for, just for our personal use because to the listener, I always watch and listen to the show back. And I was like, man, Pete's really acting like he's thinking a lot and what's going on here? So I decided to clip it and it was pretty funny when it was all cut. Dave,

Peter Dunn: I have been searching hot chicken menus all morning as to what I might have for lunch.

Just so you know, maybe those hot chickens that are, are, are, are in the background there. Very, very small. I have a feeling a lot [00:03:00] of birthday greetings for Chris and Kristen. We have some segments today. Is one of them going to be about the you eavesdropping on a conversation yesterday at a restaurant?

Kristen Ahlenius: It can be for sure.

Peter Dunn: I think it totally needs to be.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay.

Peter Dunn: Kristen's texting Damon and I last night about the, her eavesdropping into these two gentlemen's conversation. Just judging them. Just, just really being what's the, what's the male, what's the, what's misogynist, but. against men. What's that called?

Does anyone know that? You mean like Kevin? Yeah. You know, no, no, not, not Karen. No, like you know, you're a misogynist, but what's the, what's the male root word for like, you're against men. What's that called?

Kristen Ahlenius: Not walking into that.

Peter Dunn: I don't know. Does anyone know?

Kristen Ahlenius: For what it's worth, I was not eavesdropping.

The guy was, the guy was like half yelling. I couldn't help but overhear.

Peter Dunn: Okay, misogynist male version. I'm looking [00:04:00] right now. Misandrist. I don't know if I've heard that, misandrist.

Kristen Ahlenius: Can you read the definition to me, please? Exactly.

Peter Dunn: Misandry is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men or boys.

Well, that's Christy.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay.

Peter Dunn: Just kidding, of course. Happy birthday, Kristen. You're 30 years old. Dame and I went in on a joint gift for you, and it is A hearty batch of well wishes.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, I think

Peter Dunn: we, he, Dave and I actually talked yesterday. We're like, you know, we probably could have probably could have done something and they're like, nah, well, which is for all that's in the budget.

That's true. You get out your Moneyline gift card or something. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What are we doing today? I mean, it is your birthday, but By the way, no judgment here. But a lot of judgment. Thanks for not being the [00:05:00] person that takes your birthday off. You know what I mean?

Kristen Ahlenius: Hmm. Well, we do have flex holidays here and the temptation to use my own birthday as a flex holiday, pretty strong.

But the other, the the thing about that is everybody else has to work. It's like, what am I going to do? Just like sit at my house by myself on my birthday. Like that's not fun.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. That felt, felt very judgmental to say that. I just remember once. Oh boy. Nevermind. All right. What are we talking about on the show?

Kristen Ahlenius: We have a question.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Great.

Kristen Ahlenius: About pensions.

Peter Dunn: Lovely.

Kristen Ahlenius: We have me eavesdropping. Yes. You want to call it that. And then there is a third question about a married couple and some lingering debt.

Peter Dunn: Well, I mean, that feels like a segment two and three based on your eavesdropping will line up perfectly.

Correct? Yeah. Yeah. They kind of will. Right? [00:06:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: I mean, sort of, yeah. Daym, are you looking at the questions?

Damian Dunn: Yeah. Well, I'm the one that I shared with you this morning, yes.

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh.

Damian Dunn: From

Peter Dunn: misandry to miscellaneous. Hmm. Wow. I don't know. I don't know. Let's move on.

I feel like something eventful happened this week that I was going to share with you guys, and now I don't remotely remember. Great. That's what makes for good radio. Okay let's start the show. Kristen, who's reading the email?

Kristen Ahlenius: I just sent it to Dame.

Peter Dunn: All right, here we go. 3, 2, 1. This week on the Pete the Planner Show, we answer your money questions.

Here's how the show works. You email us askpete at petetheplanner. com. That's askpete at petetheplanner. com. And we will answer your questions. By the clearing of the throat, the we is quite apparent. And that [00:07:00] is Damien Dunn, male throat clearer. Hello, sir. Hello, Pete. And the birthday girl. Tweet. Kristen Alenius, happy birthday, friend.

Thank you. This has got to be your worst birthday ever spending time with Dave and I,

Kristen Ahlenius: you know I chose to be here. I could have taken today off. So

Peter Dunn: yeah, bold move. Okay. We have questions. We're answering this week. Kristen was at a coffee shop, eavesdropping on two men. And so we're going to talk about her misandry and on those sorts of things.

But first Dame is going to read a listener. Question day. Oh, by the way, Dame is on location in a birdcage. Yeah. So if you hear not birdcage with Nathan Lane and Robin Williams, but there's tremendous number of birds outside of Dame studio. And so it sounds like he is selling parakeets as a fundraiser for a school marching band or something.

Damian Dunn: Not my favorite show setting I've ever [00:08:00] had, but we're gonna go on. We're gonna persevere. Okay. Should I get to the question? Sure. Yes. Okay. Love the show. Keep up the good work. Hi Pete, Dame, and Kristen. Our question revolves around whether my wife should opt for the pension or quote, Other option at work.

She's starting a job where the working for the state and it's more complicated than the private sector in that there are options other than a 401k. We are in our late 30s, own a house, and have a one year old child. Along with the 457b, which she will participate in, there's a choice between a pension option, which includes a defined benefit and defined contribution piece, and And another option with a defined contribution only the defined contribution requires 3 percent of her salary to be contributed in both options.

But the second option, the no pension option also includes a variable employer match. It was 3. 7 percent this year. All right. So timeout. Are we all on track for what's going on here? [00:09:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: So the defined contribution forces her to put in 3%.

Damian Dunn: The defined contribution requires 3 percent of her salary to be contributed in both options.

Kristen Ahlenius: I feel confused.

Peter Dunn: Yes, and if she chooses the 401k slash 403b slash 457, whatever it is, it is also requires

Damian Dunn: a Mandatory 3 percent it sounds like it because there's a match involved and she would have to get the match and I don't know the formula Is but she's gonna have to contribute to get some kind of benefit.

Obviously, I feel up to speed Okay, you do not get the match with the pension option, but you get the pension Should have maybe read that question before the timeout.

It appears that she would have to work for 22 years in order to receive the pension. If she left prior to that, bufcus. Ooh. We've crunched the numbers and the [00:10:00] pension will provide income in retirement, assuming she works there long enough to qualify. The benefit of not doing the pension is receiving a match each year that would be fully vested within five years.

Although the match has less dollars and likely income during retirement, when compared to the pension, it is invested in a way that is under our control and continue to grow even in retirement. So is there a better option here? Any advice if we think we're on track to meet our retirement goals with savings?

with make the most sense. Assuming we stick to the typical distribution percentages and retirement. We always thought a pension would be the gold standard. So looking at this has been perplexing. Pete, the eyes down here, the birds are not up in your ceiling.

Peter Dunn: Oh man, I wonder if

Damian Dunn: the radio listener can actually hear the birds.

Probably. If you can, they can. So All right, numbers. We've got a little bit of background here. Current retirement, they believe they're on schedule for their goal overall and will be contributing continuing to max out the 401k and [00:11:00] 457b. Less 3 percent into the defined contribution, if that's the route they go.

Any additional available retirement savings into IRAs. Assume pension 23. 8 per year over 25 years of expected life expectancy. It's about 600 grand. Assumed match, If they go that route, about 225, 000 value at the same retirement age as pension. Big difference,

Peter Dunn: man. I love this question. I love this question.

I'm by background. Did you mean background noise? Those last two facts, I think really stack it back to the pensions favor. Do you not?

Damian Dunn: I, I love I think you and I, I think you and I are in a similar boat. The pensions are just amazing retirement vehicles if they're for the right person. And I'm not sure this is the best situation to go for the pension.

Really? Are we going to fight on Kristen's birthday? Oh wait, [00:12:00] let Kristen chime in because she has an even hotter take. Oh, Lord. What's a pension?

Peter Dunn: No.

Damian Dunn: Ouch.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay, so first of all, I on my 30th birthday, I'm apparently a newbie, and I didn't start the timer, so I will need some assistance as we go on.

Peter Dunn: She's getting forgetful.

I know, my old

Kristen Ahlenius: age, it's really catching me. So to understand my hot take, we have to back the bus up just a little bit. Do the two of you remember when you were studying for various licensing exams, like your series exams, your CFP whatever, and you would get to this, you would get to the retirement space and there was always this call out to this concept for high paying executives to incentivize them to stay with companies.

There's this term called golden handcuffs. Are you, do you, are you tracking, do you remember that?

Peter Dunn: Yes. Yeah, 25 years ago, but yes,

Kristen Ahlenius: I was just making sure. So the, this has [00:13:00] always been talked about in the context of high paid employees that you want to retain. And we're talking big numbers, big bonuses, big stock options, et cetera.

But is the pension kind of the every man's golden handcuffs?

Peter Dunn: I think it's meant to be. I think the game, I don't view a pension in modern sense as a reward. I view it as a reward for staying.

Damian Dunn: Yeah. I mean, you are going to give a good chunk of your life to one company and they're in turn going to pay you for your, Entire life while you are working for them and while you aren't.

And I, I don't have any issues with that,

Kristen Ahlenius: but the median amount of time that someone stays at an employer is like five years.

Damian Dunn: That's, pensions have changed drastically in how they are viewed and how they can actually function and benefit today's employees because job hopping is just so prevalent in, [00:14:00] in this day and age.

So it's really tough to make a pension. Your, your key retirement vehicle or, you know offering to your employees because they're not gonna be around long enough to get it or at least any meaningful benefit out of it.

Kristen Ahlenius: Does their age play a factor? In how much you favor or don't favor the pension, they said they're in their late thirties.

And then the wife has to work there for 22 years in order to receive the pension. And they're doing a lot of the right things independent of that. Does that pull you away from the pension or does it push you even harder to the pension?

Damian Dunn: Pulls me away. Not, not necessarily because they're in their late thirties, but the fact they have a one year old kid, there are so many variables that are on the forefront that they can't begin to think about.

Being in a place for another 22 years, I'm going to check with my peanut gallery. Yes, they agree, but I, I think they've just [00:15:00] got so many variables in their life right now that saying, I'm going to commit to 22 years of work for this one employer. That's a really tough.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. I kind of wish that this email was like, we're already five years in, like, I wish it was that because that 20, like T minus, 22 years.

That's a lot could go on. I mean, without knowing what government entity or whatever, like, there could be a turnover in political parties in the state, and they wipe out the payrolls, and like, you just don't know. Okay, you talked me into it. I think they should do the divine contribution play and it's with that we take a break so that dames birds can get a bird bath Coming up after the break more bird sounds and kristen's birthday.

I'm pete the planner kristen's 30 years old today. We celebrated with what a pie full of magpies. What's the old? What's the old children's [00:16:00] thing where like there's Crows and a pie or something. What's that thing? Anybody? I don't know. I'm only 30.

Damian Dunn: No, I know what you're talking about. I can't think of it.


Peter Dunn: blackbirds.

Damian Dunn: Yeah, blackbirds. I think, but I know it

Peter Dunn: knows Kristen, what are the big plans for the weekend? Let's hear it.

Kristen Ahlenius: So embarrassing.

Damian Dunn: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're 30 now. So there's a lot of really

Kristen Ahlenius: stepping out of my youth here. I think tonight, tonight I'm going to dinner at my dad's and then potentially going to have drinks with a girlfriend of mine.

And then I am I don't know what I'm doing Saturday going for a run, I think, and then Sunday because I mean, I celebrate the whole month of May, but Sunday I have asked my mom and my sister and my boyfriend to help fix the landscaping at my house as a birthday present to me.

Damian Dunn: Didn't you just fix it last year?

Kristen Ahlenius: Just the one section. I want to do the rest of it.

Damian Dunn: All right. Make sure you don't cut any [00:17:00] fiber lines this year.

Kristen Ahlenius: That was so bad.

Peter Dunn: But as you're getting older, you do need to pay more attention to fiber. Okay. Dame, this next segment is about Kristen eavesdropping on two men in Napanee, Indiana. Is that right?


Kristen Ahlenius: that is true.

Peter Dunn: Was it Napanee?

Kristen Ahlenius: It was.

Peter Dunn: Oh, okay. I, I totally made that up. Four in twenty blackbirds naked in a pie says Jameson, but that was a mistype. Baked. He meant baked in a pie. Baked. Yeah. Baked in a pie. Are, are those Pain drugs really kicking in from the recovery from your your leg ailment, Jamison, 420 blackbird naked in a pie.

Man, this is why he's a listener of all time. Right? You don't earn that with having typos. Those birds are unbelievable. I love them. I don't want you to feel bad.

Kristen Ahlenius: I

Peter Dunn: don't want you to feel bad, but I am going to bring it up for the next hour.

Kristen Ahlenius: He [00:18:00] hates it. I'm definitely

Damian Dunn: getting hot chicken now. Kristen, if you were in Napanee, were you at our favorite restaurant?

Kristen Ahlenius: I was not. No, I wasn't.

Peter Dunn: I was across the street. What kind of birds are there and how many do you think there are?

Kristen Ahlenius: There's probably just like two.

Peter Dunn: Do you want me to go look? Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do that. For crying out loud. They are crying out loud, that's the point.

Kristen Ahlenius: I still don't understand this blackbird thing.

Even with the correction, I don't know what it means.

Peter Dunn: There's a nursery rhyme about like four in twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. Or as they do in Texas, the birds are naked. In a pie. Jameson for that. All right. I feel like James is sort of guy who could literally go out there and Krav Maga these birds and we'd have a better show.

Kristen Ahlenius: If they have a nest, that's not very kind.

Peter Dunn: Okay. He's got to put his ears back in here. And we have learned. It's three [00:19:00] birds. Final answer. For those that don't know, Dame broadcasts in a barn on his property. It's a lovely barn. What was the lay of the land?

Damian Dunn: Didn't see any birds. What? I have no idea.


Kristen Ahlenius: in the walls!

Damian Dunn: I'm, I'm, I'm a little nervous they might be either down a downspout and stuck in a downspout, which happens occasionally.

Kristen Ahlenius: They're in the wall.

Damian Dunn: Well, downspout wall, but I, I think they might be in a downspout. I was hoping you'd kill two birds with one stone.

Peter Dunn: Oh, Gail is devastated. I know.

Gail, does Gail even listen to the show anymore? No. Why? I mean, she's moved on with her lovely life. She doesn't need to listen to my tomfoolery. If she does, I hope she has it translated into German so she can learn some more

Kristen Ahlenius: local language.

Peter Dunn: Hey, Gail, if you're listening, we love you.

Kristen Ahlenius: Absolutely. That is true.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Let's continue on. [00:20:00] And it's with that, that someone else here it's going to have to tell the story. It's going to have to be Kristin.

Kristen Ahlenius: Don't

Peter Dunn: what?

Kristen Ahlenius: Please don't put me full screen.

Peter Dunn: Oh, I'm not going to put you full screen.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay.

Peter Dunn: Of course I am. Three, two, one. Back on the Pete, the planner show, you know, back in the day when I was social and I'd go places, I would always find myself at a coffee shop or something.

And inevitably the conversation behind me was a financial conversation. Sometimes I feel like all that's either. There's two things that happen in coffee shops, Bible studies and financial conversations. And if Dave Ramsey is there, same thing. And so yesterday, Kristen was at a, was it a coffee shop, Kristen?

Yeah, it's a coffee shop. She's in Northern Indiana. She's listening to these people blab on, and she starts texting elements of the conversation to Damon and I, and it's a pretty spicy conversation. Kristen, what is the, what's [00:21:00] the vibe here? Like, I want you to describe it.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay, so the vibe of the coffee shop is that it's, it's actually a little more on the loud side.

It's, it's not quiet by any stretch, and it's regularly, It is very full, despite the fact that it's a coffee shop, pretty much all hours that it's open. And so I was there around dinner time, but still very full, lots of people. And because it's a little bit more of a loud environment, you hear a lot of people's conversations.

That's not abnormal. And the tables are really close together. So while Pete is making fun of the fact that I was eavesdropping, the gentleman was literally sitting. I mean. Less than a foot from me. He was on the other side of like, I was sitting in a booth and he was immediately behind me in another one.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Okay. And what's the nature of the conversation?

Kristen Ahlenius: The nature of the conversation. The dynamic of the conversation was that the gentleman that was doing the most speaking was Hi, [00:22:00] Clearly some level of mentor to the other gentleman that he was with.

Peter Dunn: So people have often accused me of being Damien's father.

They think that we're related, that I'm older. So Dame, in this instance, as people are imagining this Northern Indiana coffee shop, that's full. Let's imagine I'm mentoring you. So Kristen, what advice or guidance am I, am I giving to my mentee?

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, so the piece of the piece of guidance that you gave to your mentee that really kind of struck a chord with Kristen was the following money doesn't cause problems.

It just reveals the stupidity you already had. You just couldn't afford it.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Okay. This honestly, look again, this does feel like a Dave Ramsey billboard. Like this, I feel like I've driven on four 65 in Indianapolis and I've seen like money can't fix stupid or something like that, but let's break down this idea.

Money does again,

Kristen Ahlenius: [00:23:00] money doesn't cause problems. It just reveals the stupidity you already had. You just couldn't afford it.

Damian Dunn: Damn. You want to go first? I, there is some truth to this because I think if I had double the income that I have now, I would spend a stupid amount on vehicles. I just would because I love cars and I could afford it, afford it. And I, I would go out and do it. Now, how many do I need? How many do I possibly, can I drive at once?

One is the correct answer of that, but I would want a few different ones because, well, gosh, darn it. I'm successful and I've got the cash and I can go do that. It's, it makes no rational sense. But I

Peter Dunn: would, I kind of agree with the sentiment, but I don't like the negative aspect of it, which maybe that makes me soft, but like, I don't [00:24:00] think by revealing behavior, it doesn't make a person stupid.

It makes them human, Kristen.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, and if you can objectively afford it, just because in the eyes of someone else, it's stupid doesn't mean that to you, it's stupid and it's your money.

Peter Dunn: Was there a point that he was trying to make about that? This kid was doing something stupid or that, like who was being stupid here?

Kristen Ahlenius: No, they were just like running through a lot of different conversations and they weren't talking through, like, I don't think they were talking about anyone's past. person specifically, but they were just like hitting a lot of hot takes as they went. And this was the one that was most applicable to our show.

And then after that, he did give the example of, he was like, you know, take me, take me when, you know, my first car and I, it was some sports car, like a challenger or something like that. He was like my first car that was stupid. It's because I had stupid money and I didn't know that this wasn't something I shouldn't [00:25:00] do.

And. I think my problem with it is, is his use of the word stupid, because that's not, there's a difference between a lack of awareness, will, like, choosing to be ignorant, like, I don't, I don't think it's as easy as that word.

Damian Dunn: I'm afraid that the two of you are potentially still viewing this through the lens that you're talking about a semi rational individual who makes generally good financial decisions.

A lot of money speeds up that process and allows you to make wildly bad decisions really, really quick. Look at the number of people who win the lottery and are broke. They just, they have a ton of resources. They're not going to make good decisions and they're going to get accustomed to that spending and that lifestyle and they will spend themselves out of it.

I, if you are somebody who is financially Conservative by nature and are going to make [00:26:00] reasonably good decisions and keep on pursuing your financial goals without letting this new influx of cash hinder you from achieving them. Okay, well, we can get away from the use of word stupid if you want, but I think there are plenty of decisions out there that are Made in this very circumstance, however you want to define it.

I wouldn't lean away from that word.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, I go the two elements here. Number one, I do believe more resources magnify whatever level of resourcefulness you have. Right. So that that's just a cleaner professional writer way to say it. But Kristen, I think maybe there's another quote within that conversation that is appearing on my text messages from last night that might be coloring your thoughts here at some point in the conversation, it appears that The mentor noted that empires are built by men.

Do you believe that that has influence on your [00:27:00] thoughts on the conversation?

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, a little bit. Kristen was a little jaded. I did not know that all of my thoughts would be shared. But yes, the gentleman also did say that it is a man's job to build empires and that empires are built by men. And I said,

Peter Dunn: Dame, you're raising a son and you're raising a daughter.

And I feel like I, as am I different dones, by the way. I feel like sometimes for both my kids, when I try to make a point about this is what you do, or this is what you don't do, it starts to cross into this weird gender place that is, that no longer feels right. I don't want to say pertinent, but, but sort of socially or culturally acceptable.

And it's not that I'm raising a soft young man, but it's just like, I can't go, be a man, quit crying. Like, do you ever, do you ever sense that when you're trying to parent that, that as you're trying to go from a gender to gender, that you, you find yourself saying things that probably [00:28:00] 80 years ago. You ever do that?

Damian Dunn: Yeah. I mean, I, I, and you and I both are trying to raise well rounded. Young adults, we're doing whatever we can to I'm not going to say, you know, correct the mistakes of, of the, you know, the generation that raised our generation because I, you know, we're all doing the best we can with the information that we've got available to us at that point in time.

But at the same time, I'm, you know, I still fall into trying to raise a chivalrous young man who is going to act and behave and take on certain responsibilities because. That's how I believe he should function in a in a world. Have you ever shared the idea that men build empires? Not yet. I'm going to wait till he's 13.

Peter Dunn: That's when I do it. Yeah. All right. So we will agree that it is true more money Can lead to more problems

Kristen Ahlenius: there. It is

Peter Dunn: notorious. B I G said that now I do want to note that [00:29:00] when it gets into relationships and money and then, and, and how money can magnify one person's behaviors and habits, yet there's another person involved.

It can get a little messier and coming up after the break, we're going to talk about that an email that came in, it's about a marriage, it's about debt and, and how you look at that. All of that is next right here on the birthday edition of the show for Kristen. I'm Pete, the planner.

Kristen Ahlenius: Thanks for

Damian Dunn: sharing more context there. Well, I didn't read all of it. No, I mean, it could have been a lot worse, and I said, they weren't your thoughts. They were his thoughts. Yeah, you didn't do anything. You literally just eavesdropped. You're a stenographer in this case.

Kristen Ahlenius: I, you guys, the speed at which my thumbs were going,

Peter Dunn: were you with anybody or were you just there by yourself?

Kristen Ahlenius: I was there by myself.

Peter Dunn: Were you working?

Kristen Ahlenius: I was working on some CE that I'm behind on. [00:30:00]

Peter Dunn: Sheesh.

Kristen Ahlenius: I know the reporting period's coming up and I'm behind.

Peter Dunn: I don't even know what any of that means. Okay. So who's reading this question? Thank you.

Damian Dunn: Don't everyone volunteer at once, because I don't want to hear the birds.

I don't have it open, so, Kristen, you'll

Kristen Ahlenius: I slacked it to you.

Damian Dunn: I know, but the way I've got my screen set up, I can't open it and document it. Alright.

Peter Dunn: Slack it to me. It's fine, I'll read it. Daddy can read. Don't.

Damian Dunn: Just don't.

Peter Dunn: I'm sorry, just We did that one. I will read the question. Yeah.

Damian Dunn: And

Peter Dunn: it, it like,

Damian Dunn: I think it hits.

As long as you're okay with me spending, spending 30 minutes to take a shower after the show's over. Say whatever you want.

Kristen Ahlenius: No one on the show can, or no one listening to the podcast can see the, like this thing that you just did along with that. And that's for the best.

Damian Dunn: I'll read it. Kaylin Alanius summarizes how we all feel.[00:31:00]

Peter Dunn: Oh, come on, Sarah. Come on, Caitlin. Daddy can read. He said it again. Empires are built by daddies. If this is

Damian Dunn: Oh, this is on LinkedIn. This is on LinkedIn. You are committing so many HR violations right now.

Kristen Ahlenius: I didn't I tried to get you to stop

Peter Dunn: Kristen at 46 years old. Oh, stay on the radio. Caitlin, calm down. At 46 years old, me, not you. I, I, and Damon, I don't know if this is the same for you. I spend most of my time just trying to forgive my 30 year old self. Only 30. You don't go back further. Oh, I go back further, but like there was something around 30.

Like, here's the thing. I, I, I. Sometimes I put on that I know a lot, [00:32:00] but when I was 30, I knew everything. Like I literally knew. Everything when I was 30. Now I'm pretty sure I know close to nothing and that's legitimate. Like I, the universe of what is to know has grown and my engagement with that amount to know has shrunk.

But when I was 30, I literally knew everything.

Kristen Ahlenius: I have never related to anything less that you've said.

Damian Dunn: So I'm curious, Pete, did you, you know, my Mrs. Advice made the observation that when she is around a group of my son's age friends, when they're in a group, they are emboldened and they act, yeah, you know, it's just more immature than when they are just individual.

I think that changes a little bit. And so when you get to age 30, where you think, you know, everything, when you got in a group of people, did you [00:33:00] feel like you were the, the expert in the room or you, you were, you knew more in a group of people than you did when you were had quiet times to contemplate or did that just stay kind of level?

Peter Dunn: That's a good question. I think there was something else going on. Like my, my pure performer was cranked up more than. And I don't think I had as much empathy to be honest. Like I it was about me being the smartest person in the room and, and yeah, I would, I would share information with people, but, but ultimately if I really had to be honest with myself and in retrospect, it was about.

It was about me. And I, I'm, I'm okay with that now cause people grow, but that's definitely how it was.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah.

Peter Dunn: This guy on a, on a very special Pete the forgiveness.

Kristen Ahlenius: You've just given me a great segment idea.

Peter Dunn: Is it about my, about my deficiencies?

Kristen Ahlenius: It [00:34:00] could be,

Peter Dunn: Mrs. Planner has, if you just reach out to her, she's got a list.

It's a running list. It's actually a

Damian Dunn: spreadsheet

Peter Dunn: and it's

Damian Dunn: on a thumb drive.

Kristen Ahlenius: Could I get the link to that? Actually,

Damian Dunn: very special. Pete, the planner show with Kristen and Mrs. Planner. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine that? Yeah,

Peter Dunn: I feel like we would really

Kristen Ahlenius: bond. Yeah.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. I, I, she would have zero interest being on this.

I know that here's a fun one. Dame, you talk about school age children and the, I don't want to say dumb things you do, but cause that's not what this is about, but it's just like emboldened. Like, yeah, yeah. Young Theodore this week at the school, he goes to The, the whole school runs a 5k. Like it's just like you, it's one day, it's a 5k.

You go run, Ted ran a 5k and it was like, the results of this are interesting to me because this is like the most sixth grade thing ever. You're at school, you got a whole day of school, so you don't want to smell. You don't want to be [00:35:00] sweaty and gross and exhausted, but when you're around your buddies and there's a race and I'd say a gun goes off, but that seems a little on the nose when, when the whistle blows and the race starts, you just go.

You go and you go all out. Ted ran a 5k at a 637 per mile pace this week, randomly at 8 30 in the morning at school and then, but for no, like it's, it's blowing my mind. Not only cause it's fast, but that's not, it's just like. That's the most sixth grade thing in the world to do, you know, a hundred percent.

It's shocking.

Kristen Ahlenius: And then did they like let them like, did he just like have to like be sweaty and gross the whole rest of the day? I don't

Peter Dunn: know. I took him to school today. I was like, Hey man, deodorant, right? He was like, yeah. And I was like, did you, do you have another shirt? And he was like, I'm fine. That's all.

I don't know. Like, but God bless middle school teachers anyway. But then you see, it's crazy. They don't have gym clothes. [00:36:00] I, they do. I think, I don't know. Damn. Now you're making it seem like I don't talk to my kids. A little

Kristen Ahlenius: bit,

Peter Dunn: actually. But anyway, I'll fax them later. All right. In three, two, one back on the bird, the planner show live on location at a bird sanctuary in Northern Indiana.

It's her birthday. And as part of her birthday, we had birds saying happy birthday to her. Damien Dunn is here as well. Some call him the bird man, Dame or Kristen who's reading the email.

Kristen Ahlenius: I will read the email. Does that now?

Peter Dunn: Yeah, Kristen,

Kristen Ahlenius: this is

Peter Dunn: how it works.

Kristen Ahlenius: You didn't like it off at all. You were just like, okay, okay, that's fine. Dear Christian Co. My wife and I are newly married and at a crossroads financially. I came into the marriage with some debt from just being young and [00:37:00] irresponsible. This debt is the reason we haven't fully combined our finances. My wife wants to continue to wait to combine them until I've paid off this debt.

Whereas I feel it's really all the same in the end. I feel as though we keep having this same conversation and can't get past it. What should we do or consider to make a final plan and just move on?

Peter Dunn: Oh, I love this. I love this. Okay. Fire away.

Damian Dunn: Dane, what do you think? Gotta be honest. I was a little distracted by the birds that were, were going. So there are a couple of people got some, I think you said debt, maybe some, some bad financial decisions, trying to figure out if they should be combining finances.

Kristen Ahlenius: Would you like me to read the email again?

The husband has debt. It's the reason they haven't combined their finances. They are newlyweds. Yeah. But they keep just talking about it because he thinks, hey, [00:38:00] it's all the same in the end. But she thinks that he should pay off this debt because it's from before they were a couple. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And the, the ultimate, the, the true question is, how do they move past it?

Peter Dunn: Okay. Damn. I know coming off that last segment, we talked about how gender gets in the way of things, sometimes, or at least it's a, it's an element that you got to consider. I think he's, I don't want to go like a chivalrous way here, but I feel like he's got to show some level of commitment and dedication to solving the problem of, as opposed to saying, Well, it's our problem to fix now.

I feel like he's got to be the leader here and I don't know how gender is involved, but I do

Damian Dunn: feel like he needs to be the leader. I think they probably need to sit down and figure out how their financial life is going to work on a month to month basis. You know, who's going to be responsible for what?

Where is this money going? What combined financial goals they have for retirement or [00:39:00] vacation or house down payment or whatever it may be. And then how does that fit into that? Is because of if. He needs to take care of that debt, satisfy that obligation on his own. How is that going to impact the other goals that they have and who's going to be funding those and how this has that money going to be spent there?

So he's not entirely wrong that it's all going to wash out in the end, because if they're trying to achieve all these things and keep their head above water monetarily from month to month, Yeah, money's gonna be spent everywhere it needs to go, but if he's he's the one taking care of his debt, then his his income has to go to that, and they'll have to figure everything out outside of that, so it's just a different way of cutting the same pie, in my estimation.

Peter Dunn: Kristen, what do you think?

Kristen Ahlenius: It's hard because Preferably this would have been a pre marriage conversation, but this is where we are. They're, they're married and they have these individual liabilities and Dame [00:40:00] of several things you said. I'm like, yeah, agreed, agreed. But the thing that you said that stuck out to me the most is that.

Could it be, I think effectively what you were saying is like, depending on what type of debt this is, this could be a significant hindrance to their short and intermediate joint goals. And at that point, do we have to combine resources to achieve them? What if she's a much higher income earner and she is saying, Hey, like this is your responsibility to figure out, but he's really kind of living paycheck to paycheck without the combined finances.

What kind of burden is that placing on our intermediate goals as a couple?

Peter Dunn: I was thinking of I was thinking she had higher income too. I don't know if that's what you're actually saying or if it was an example, but I kind of sniffed that out. And I think what I, back when I used to do this for help people with these things what you would see is each person has discretionary income that they [00:41:00] spend on whatever.

And the scrutiny of his discretionary transactions will immediately. Escalate, right? Like why do you spend 13 at lunch? Why did you spend 11 at lunch? And that's going to add a lot of stress. No matter how they do this, because it is the, it is those same decisions theoretically of 13 lunch that got them in the jam in the first place.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, I think that's a really great point. And when they're asking the ultimate question is like, how do we make a plan and move past this? I would encourage a couple who feels like they're revisiting the same financial conversations to kind of have a conversation, not about this, but talk about, let's talk about like.

How we got here. Did we get here because the wife was raised in a household that was maybe a little bit more set up for success financially and that's why she's launched their [00:42:00] relationship in a better place? Was he brought up in a house where he had to take on debt? Like, we don't know the context of why the debt happened.

Look at your money scripts, have conversations about money that aren't about this specific topic.

Damian Dunn: You guys, what if the debt is The wedding ring.

Peter Dunn: Oh man, what is this, 15 years ago? Are we doing this? Like, is that still a thing? I mean, I know for a while that was like a big thing. Oh, Kristen had a point because she stuck her finger in the air.

Kristen Ahlenius: But, even if it's not the wedding ring, isn't it the wedding ring if he bought it? Because if he had debt, even if he could afford the wedding ring, it's really still kind of the ring. Because if he used the cash he had to buy the ring and now still has consumer debt, he couldn't afford it.

Damian Dunn: Potentially. I mean, there's, I'm, one of the questions was gonna be, does it matter?

Does the debt matter? The type of debt matter? Is it [00:43:00] to, because he bought something Irrational or immature or whatever or is it he's got a ton of school loans that they need to be Taken care of for whatever reason did she know about it prior to the marriage and if she did Why did she get I don't know.

I mean, there's there's all sorts of questions. I I don't know

Kristen Ahlenius: That's a good one Dane because if she knew before they got married that he had this debt and we launched financial life together and she's still saying not until we're, I'm not willing to combine finances until this is paid off. I don't know that that's super fair.

Peter Dunn: Wait, okay. So to him?

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, if if she knew that he had this debt and they've agreed to get married They've presumably had some money conversations And if she says that she's not willing to combine finances, even though she knew about this debt before she agreed To [00:44:00] get married, is it super fair to like, say that she's not willing to pull resources to pay it off?

Peter Dunn: That's a great question. My favorite lark of a guess here is that that it's for a ring. Like, I love that. I love that. And it wouldn't be her fault, right? But she would have benefited from it. Like, so the question is, did she benefit from any of this debt? She is reluctant to help pay off.

Kristen Ahlenius: Even if it's not the ring.

I think the answer is yes. He was living a lifestyle that he couldn't afford, and you would think that a couple working toward, and then being married, there would be things that he's paying for along the way that they both benefited from.

Peter Dunn: But that's where it's like Dan, it's like, well, is it student loan?

Like do we don't know? We don't know. It's credit card debt. Do.

Kristen Ahlenius: It says from being young and irresponsible could be student loans or credit cards. Who knows

Peter Dunn: hair plugs? [00:45:00] Yeah, yeah, okay. So what with 40 seconds left. What's our guidance here?

Kristen Ahlenius: We seek out some counseling to help us make this decision. I think the conversations bigger than money.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, dame I I think I think this could turn into a massive like relationship problem

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah,

Peter Dunn: really easily, really easily. Here's the thing, Mrs. Planer and I got married when we were children. I mean, it was nearly criminal. We were 22. And so, we were young and dumb together. And so, when people get married later, this is like a newer thing.

People have these lives that they gotta combine. Coming up after the breaks, baking a biggest waste of money. We'll do that and the news. I'm Pete, the planner, two and a half seconds over for that crappy outro. A lot of people have noticed in the last couple of weeks that while other people are talking on the show, I will lean back and stare at the ceiling like I'm on a New York courtroom.

And [00:46:00] I, you know, here's the thing. I don't know why. I doing it other than I'm sort of stretching. I am arguably tired, but I'm not sleeping when I'm leaning back, but it is a little weird. It's been two weeks in a row. I just sort of lean back, look into space. It's a relatively new development too. What the hell's going on?

You're getting old. Yeah. We're all getting old. I've got my physical in two weeks. So my doctor, not next this Monday, next Monday, man, I I'm telling you, like wonder, wonder if he's just like, well, you got to start taking this or that. And it's, it's old guy pills, you know? I do feel like I'm aging rapidly.

What's I'm the opposite of Benjamin button. James, sorry I was distracted by birds. James wants to know if our new studio will have a treadmill desk. I keep forgetting we're moving. Well, you guys don't think about it because you're not literally just [00:47:00] talked about it yesterday, Pete. I know, but I told you, I don't think about it.

Yeah, I forget. What's the studio good? Like Ben's designing it. I think

Kristen Ahlenius: it'll be cool.

Peter Dunn: I just want to look like a, an influencer, you know, with like an Ivy wall with like neon, like girl power or something.

Kristen Ahlenius: A sign that says bread winner. That's what I want. My

Damian Dunn: empires are built.

Kristen Ahlenius: Built here.

Peter Dunn: I won't repeat my joke because it was funny, but he ignored it. I heard it. There it is. Okay, let's go. Three, two, one. No, this is a pretty good one. Three, two, one. This week's biggest waste of money of the week right here on the Pete, the planner show is the foresight quad max golf launch monitor. [00:48:00] Hit the range all you want.

But without precise data, it's hard to dial in your game. Powered by advanced 4 camera photometric data capture technology entrusted by PGA Tour pros, Foresight's QuadMax launch monitor releases 18 data points from the ball and the club, from launch angle and spin, to ball apex, descent angle, and clubhead speed.

The latter also works without a ball. And a new speed training mode, which analyzes the swing and suggest adjustments to improve performance while it excels on the range with a touchscreen display, customizable metric display via my tiles all day battery life and offline storage for up to two. Billion shots, I'm out, I'm out,

Damian Dunn: I'm gonna, does it come with knee and shoulder replacements too?

Okay, [00:49:00]

Peter Dunn: there's offline storage for 2 billion shots, no one can take 2 billion golf shots.

Kristen Ahlenius: I think they mean like, analyzed shots, like, In your swing, it will take 500 and it, like, I don't know. I don't think they're talking about hitting that many golf balls.

Peter Dunn: It also comes bundled with a full suite of gaming and performance simulation software, including 25 courses for at home use.

Kristen, you take this thing to the driving range, you set it next to you, and then you swing and it measures stuff. How much is the foresight? Quad Max golf launch monitor.

Kristen Ahlenius: This might be the biggest waste of money we've ever had. Well,

Peter Dunn: honestly,

Kristen Ahlenius: I have told

Peter Dunn: me, I mean, is it a waste at 50 bucks or is it a wasted a hunt?

Like what's it a waste at? Anything

Kristen Ahlenius: waste at any amount, because for it to be effective, it's going to have to be really expensive and anything less than is [00:50:00] truly a waste and golf stuff is so expensive and I, I don't know, is it, I hate this game. Is it? 1, 200.

Peter Dunn: All right, Dottie Pepper says 1, 200, Dame.

Kristen Ahlenius: I don't get it.

Peter Dunn: That was from all the olds.

Damian Dunn: Sorry, youngin How about 19, 999? 19,

Peter Dunn: 999. Dame, are you cheating?

Damian Dunn: I mean, if you mean, because I already knew how much that costs because I've seen it multiple times, then yes, but I've, I've, I'm familiar with the foresight quad backs.

Kristen Ahlenius: What? Why?

Damian Dunn: What's wrong with you? Sim golf is fun. Do you own this? No.

Kristen Ahlenius: I

Damian Dunn: feel like you own this. [00:51:00] No, no, I own a much, much, much cheaper version.

Peter Dunn: You own something like this? You own one of these things?

Damian Dunn: I have a simulator set up in my barn, yeah.

Peter Dunn: What? You're the most interesting person in the world.

Kristen Ahlenius: Why? Okay, so let's I just told you

Peter Dunn: SimGolf is fun, that's why! I don't enjoy fun. Yeah, well, we've established that. Dean,

Damian Dunn: what's in the news? You don't want to talk SimGolf?

I can do news, that's fine. Yuga Labs, the creator of the viral board ape Yacht Club non fungible token, announced a new round of layoffs as the NFT frenzy appears to cool even further. Greg Solano, Euclid Lab CEO, announced that the startup would lay off an unspecified number of employees as it undergoes, quote, restructuring.

The news comes as the floor price of the popular NFT collection, once touted by celebrities like Justin Bieber and Paris Hilton, sinks to lows not seen since it was released in [00:52:00] 2021. The floor price is the lowest price that NFT in a given collection will sell for. And as of May 1st board API clubs for floor price hovered around the U S dollar equivalent of nearly 40, 000.

Because remember you buy these things with crypto and that's down from the peak floor price of around 350, 000. 54, 000 in 2022, which is a far cry from the top prices board apes once sold for in September of 2021. A board ape was auctioned by Sotheby's for a little over 24 million.

Peter Dunn: Kristen first, can we all maybe agree other than golf simulator that I don't want anyone to lose their job.

And I also don't want people to lose money, right? Like we, can we agree on that, Damian? You're with us here too. He's not. He's, he's, he's thinking about how he could buy the quad max. I love this. Like, I, I, we were all made to feel so stupid because we weren't jumping on the NFT bandwagon and all these.[00:53:00]

Financial experts on social media were like buying them and putting them in their avatars and all these sorts of things. And I was just like, man, I'm telling you, this is the dumbest thing in the world. Guess what? Dame? It's the dumbest thing in the world. Unless you bought and

Damian Dunn: sold

Peter Dunn: it for a profit,

Damian Dunn: then you did it right, but didn't work out so well for a lot of holders.

Peter Dunn: It just never passed the sniff test.

Damian Dunn: No.

Peter Dunn: I mean, just like, oh, a non fungible token. Okay, what is that? You can't explain it. You shouldn't buy it.

Kristen Ahlenius: Exactly. That's the key. If you can't explain it to me like I'm five, please don't buy it.

Peter Dunn: Damn, what else is in the news?

Damian Dunn: Bad news for the mole at Dave Buster's, it'll soon be getting whacked even more zealously than ever before because there's going to be money on the line.

The arcade chain plans to let adults wager five bucks on some of its iconic games. What could possibly go wrong? Grown ups among its five million loyalty [00:54:00] members will be able to make classics like Skee Ball about more than just nostalgia by using the DMB Rewards app to bet against each other. DMB is not doing it alone.

It teamed up with the competitions for cash startup Lucra, which already enables tennis and pickleball hobbyists to play for money. Lucra avoids the B word when it describes its services, calling them, quote, real money contests or challenges, which it says aren't regulated in the same way as gambling on games of chance.

Peter Dunn: Kristen, I'm very anti gambling, you know this.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yes.

Peter Dunn: But I kind of love this.

Kristen Ahlenius: So you can make, let me get this straight. You and Mrs. Planar can be on a date night at Dave and Buster's.

Peter Dunn: There's a lot of fallacies already happening here, but go ahead.

Kristen Ahlenius: Just go with me. Yeah. And I could be there making side bets on.

Your ability or inability to play skee ball.

Peter Dunn: I think so. Pause. What are you like a person's going, you scan a QR code on the machine and then that user success [00:55:00] is measured against the app that by this is genius. I love this.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, but what happens when somebody's like,

Peter Dunn: Tanks on purpose.

Kristen Ahlenius: Exactly. Or like, is a, like, if, if I walked in and I was really good at pool, you probably wouldn't expect like a 30 year old woman to be really great at pool.

And then I can't, You know, people place bets and then I come in and I just like run the table. Like what?

Peter Dunn: Dame, do you notice? Like she literally is just 30 years old today and she's already throwing examples into the show about 30 year old women. Did you see how you see how like she is? Yeah. Oh, yeah, she's really owning it.

I parts of this are absolutely genius and fun, even though I don't like gambling, but there there's some answers to be had here about as Ted would say, point shaving every time a teammate performs poorly in youth sports for him. He accuses the poor lad of point shaving, which is a little aggressive.

Yeah. But Dave and Buster's might have some of that as well.

Damian Dunn: Yeah. I mean, between adults alcohol [00:56:00] competition and money. I mean, what could possibly go wrong around kids? Not a thing. What else? One more time. One story. Relationship advice. Find someone who wants you as much as Google wants to be the default engine in safari.

Newly released court documents and the government's antitrust case against Google, which is scheduled to wrap up this week, show that Google parent alphabet paid Apple 20 billion to remain the default in 2022. Bloomberg also reports that during the trial, a witness let slip that Google pays 30 percent 36 percent of search ad revenue to Apple you And though that relationship is at the heart of the government's monopoly claims against Google, other documents show that Microsoft also wanted in offering Apple 90 percent of ad revenue to break up with Google and go for Bing, but 90 percent of nothing is,

Peter Dunn: Oh, wow.

Yeah primary browser. You used a chrome. Kristen chrome chrome. I feel like our developers are software engineers here. [00:57:00] I saw one of them the other day and they were on some browser that no one's even heard of and you know, it's like, No one uses it except the engineers, you know, anyway, happy birthday, Chris.

May your decade of thirties be a fruitful sending everyone else. Good vibes. Cause it's all this in the budget. I'm Pete, the planner. This is the Pete, the planner show. Okay.

Kristen Ahlenius: Can you guys hear that?

Okay. I was, Mojo's having a nightmare and I didn't know if we could hear that in the last segment. He's like crying.

Peter Dunn: What an eventful show. Doggy dreams are cute to watch.

Kristen Ahlenius: He, no, he likes zombie dogs. It freaks me out. Yeah.

Peter Dunn: Damn, I don't hear the birds anymore. Oh, never mind.

Kristen Ahlenius: Oops. That's all right.

Peter Dunn: Well, I hope you guys have a good week and Kristen take it easy on the ranch waters.

Kristen Ahlenius: I I'm 30, not 21.

Peter Dunn: It'll

Kristen Ahlenius: be fine.

Peter Dunn: She's really [00:58:00] owning 30. She said I'm 30 like five times.

Kristen Ahlenius: I have said that I, for the last like two years, I've just been like, yeah, I'm 30. So not on this show. We never actually disclose my age on the show. We always just say that I'm younger. But In my personal life, I'm always like, Oh, yeah, I'm 30.

And my mom's always like, No, you're not. Well, now I am, if I may.

Peter Dunn: And this is probably going to come off the wrong way. Here it is. She's the oldest 30 year old on the planet.

Damian Dunn: People have been saying this about her for decades, Pete. No,

Peter Dunn: I mean, honestly. There, I can't believe what you started here when you were at

Kristen Ahlenius: 24.

Peter Dunn: All right. Happy birthday, Kristen. Thank you. Damon, I got you nothing.

Kristen Ahlenius: That's fine.

Peter Dunn: Dame, have a good weekend with your family. [00:59:00] Yeah. I'm looking forward to that. And everyone else stay getting money.