May 10, 2024

Instagram is driving up the cost of weddings

Episode Transcript

Peter Dunn: [00:00:00] Alright, new segment this week let's get the crew here right away. Hello, Kristen. Hello, Dame. Hello, Pete. Hello. I texted you both last night, and I We have a new segment that that's debuting today is and I don't want to use the I don't want to get aggressive in the language here Is Pete a jerk? Let's just call it that is Pete a jerk and it's a specific situation So don't answer universally Dame like you did via text.

Sorry Okay, here are the rules I'm okay hearing honestly that I was in the wrong. I'm okay hearing I was in the wrong because then I won't do it again. I,

Kristen Ahlenius: I have no

Peter Dunn: problems with that. Okay. However, if I was not wrong, I don't know. I don't think anyone's right. I'm either wrong or not wrong, but I doubt I'm right.

Is that fair? Sure. Okay. I need more context based. Okay. So I will tell you the scenario and you guys make judgment. And [00:01:00] ask whatever questions you need. And I will do my best to be objective here. I love this segment already. Okay. Dave, you've been waiting years for this opportunity. Okay. And do you think we should just go wrong or am I a jerk or a scale of jerk?

Or what do we do? No, well,

Kristen Ahlenius: let's, let's yeah, lay it out here.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Some of the details don't matter, so I'll just give you whatever. I was supposed to check into a hotel this evening. Okay. It's a Friday. The no one cares the 10th in another city based on my plans. I am not going to do that, but instead, Mrs.

Planner is going to be checking into that same hotel room. So for those that have stayed in a hotel room before, you note that when you check in, you, you, you, you give them your name. There's a reservation. Let's see your picture ID. You gotta be the same person. Right. So I'm anticipating because of other things going on, there's going to be a moment where a Mrs.

Planner [00:02:00] gets to this hotel and says, I'm checking in. They say we don't have that name. We have this name and then just, it's a cluster. Yes. Right. Or it's, it's happens. Yes. So I'm like this is a, this is talk how you time out on my own story. Is this, I mean, I'm not even into the story, but I think it's an important part.

Dame continue. You know, me to know that of the things I love in my life, the most at the top of the list is. Problem solving. Yes. Okay. At my, at my core, I am homemade rice, crispy treats, and a problem solving. That's who I am as an individual. And they, by the way, thank you for neither of you. When I said the things I love most in my life, thank you for neither of you saying yourself.

I, that was very nice. I appreciate that.

Kristen Ahlenius: You're welcome.

Peter Dunn: So I call the number. Of this hotel, a person picks up and I explained the situation and the person says, Oh, I see this [00:03:00] reservation was made through an outside site because of the sports event that's down there. And but now, once that happens, you don't actually have access to the site anymore because it's like a block of rooms and I was like.

Okay. Okay. I understand. And I said, here's, here's the challenge. My, my wife is going to show up there 24 hours from now, cause this was yesterday afternoon. And and what I'm hoping to do on this phone call is this is identify myself, give me my confirmation number. Give you my rewards number to show you my cloud and just, and, and just have a note in the system that this person can stay there or just add them to the reservation.

Are we good so far? Got it. Person says I can't do that. I am not allowed to make changes to reservations based that were booked in the outside. It's like, I hear you. That's got to be frustrating. But the good news is both of us are here to solve this. And, and by the way, at this point, [00:04:00] this is my tone, it will go a different direction, but right now I'm like, Hey, that's okay.

That's frustrating for you. I hear you. You know how we talk around here at your money line.

Kristen Ahlenius: I

Peter Dunn: hear you. Let's just solve this problem together. Right. Isn't that sad. And I was like, So my wife's going to show up like maybe just a post it note. I was like, Oh, are you on site there? Are you at a call center?

And the person said, well, I am the reservationist here on site. Wow. Okay. I was like, all right. It's like, just write it right down this confirmation number, my name and my wife's name, because he can't do anything digitally about it and just put it on the front desk. And she said, we have rules. I was like, I love rules.

I'm a big rule follower, but I'm a problem solver. And you and I both have a challenge. We both have a problem in front of us. And she was like, I can't get into the system. I was like, okay, I hear you on that. What about this? When I show up tomorrow, can you get in the system? Yes, I [00:05:00] could get in the system then.

Okay. Well can we just solve it? And then I'm just like, I'm frustrated at this point. And I'm like, Hey, we're not, we're not collectively using our brains here. Like we're not like, we have a problem that both of us can solve in this moment. We're empowered to do it. Yeah. Yeah, I did. And so the person got upset and they're like I'm sorry, I can't help you unless you want to talk to a manager.

And so I was like, You know what you care into? I know they asked if I want to talk to him. And then I was like, yeah, I'll, I'll talk to your manager. So then of course they put me on hold forever. And meanwhile, meanwhile, on my phone in that moment, the confirmation for the check in for the stay pops through while I'm on hold, I'm just messing on my phone.

I hit in and I changed. The name and it's not from the group. It's from the hotel chain. It's not it. And I change it and just hang up and it's over. So the question in [00:06:00] front of you,

am I jerk? And I'm willing to take whatever comes from this. Who wants to go first? Guys, please,

Damian Dunn: you guys are fighting each other to say who's Zero percent. You are not the jerk. What? Oh, yes! Ze No! There's no way,

Peter Dunn: shape, or form. Let's let Kristen go first then, because I feel she's got some things.

Kristen Ahlenius: Well, if that's the policy Like, this person can't do anything about what policy is.

What were they supposed to do?

Peter Dunn: By the way, I'm, can I just say, my goal is to not call the other person the jerk here. That is off the table. Yeah. Okay. So like, I am not looking for me to be right and this person to be wrong. I'm saying sometimes as humans in a business situation, we find ourselves encountering a challenge.

We are empowered to solve those challenges with simple solutions. That's what, that's life. And I hate [00:07:00] when we, we, we sort of bow out of that directive.

Kristen Ahlenius: Pause, but my, for the first place that my brain goes to, and maybe this is cause my algorithms on social media are different than, than the two of yours, which is, is this policy rooted in a potential safety concern is where my head goes is like, does this policy exist?

to make sure that someone doesn't gain access to a room. And I think there are situations where someone's information could be compromised. A hotel could be called and a name could be added to a room that shouldn't be added to it. So like I, I get the policy. I'm not saying. I don't think that to say you were a jerk is kind of extreme.

I don't think that like you were just trying to find a problem to a solution or a solution to a problem now, but I'm not backpedaling. I'm just saying that there, I get where this person was coming from.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. I don't disagree with anything you said about the [00:08:00] safety thing. Cause I, I thought that too, Dame, here's where I'm at.

If I booked through the website. Their website, the hotel chains website, the person could have solved the problem, but because the person was locked out, then that person felt like the problem was impossible to solve in which it actually wasn't impossible, possible to solve. It just took two people to figure it out because it doesn't, you know, that that's where I

Kristen Ahlenius: get.

Okay. So then my other thing is you've traveled a lot and you know that. how general check ins like work. Why not just wait until you got the check in information and then change it that way instead of calling and getting. A person involved

Peter Dunn: because I tend to think great question and totally fair. And by the way, it ended up being the solution, right?

Number one, I never changed the name on [00:09:00] a reservation alone. Just like who's checking. I've never done that. I didn't know you could do that. And by the way, this hotel chains app doesn't actually work. You can't log into it. It is a functional problem. So the second thing is I'm like, you know, who solves problems?

Humans. So that's why I called. This is a small town in a little area and I was like, let's just be humans.

Damian Dunn: Dame? Checking into a hotel is Annoying. Annoying, frustrating, especially when you have a family, you know, Your wife and your son arrive at a different time than you and daughter. And if the name's not right, then they got to try and call you and confirm that yes, you're trying to check it.

It's just way too complicated. And if there was an easier way to make this process smoother I would likely try and give that hotel chain some of my business because Just like you Pete my family spends a fair amount of weekends on the [00:10:00] road.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, and I will move on to an actual radio Show and podcast about money That we have collectively as a family here I Don't I just like I I think about the people we all work with And I think about how we try to empower people to make decisions around problem solving, you know, and I just think I'd love to be on the other end of that.

Because, because that wasn't lovely. I mean, it's, Anyway, okay. I had another cold open that I wanted to do, but don't worry. It's coming later and it's probably stupider. So let's do the show. Kristen's got an amazing question today that came in. She, are you going to read it or is day? I just pulled up the calculator app on my phone again.

I don't, I have problems in three. One this week on the Pete, the planner show. We [00:11:00] answer your money questions. Here's how the show works. You email us, ask Pete at Pete, the planner. com. That's ask Pete at Pete, the planner. com. And here's what we'll do. We'll answer your question on the air. Sometimes. Or will just complain about inconveniences of personal travel joining me as always is miscellaneous Kristen elaine Hi kristen.

That's me. Hello and damien get

Damian Dunn: her done. I Hate when people call me that a million percent, but I just something just hit me Did you ever think that if people don't listen to the first 15 seconds of the show? They don't know how to send us an email question We usually only say it once a show. Should I say it more or say it less?


Peter Dunn: We need more questions. More questions. Ask Pete at Pete, the planner. com. Thank you. Amy and I share last name. And there was this time in the early nineties. Or late nineties, early two thousands in which Larry, the cable guy was doing his get her done stuff. And so people would, I'll speak for myself, Dame, [00:12:00] people would be like, Oh, Peter, get her done.

I'm like, can we not, can we not do that? Dame? Right. All the time. It's the worst. All right, Kristen, we have an email. Can you read it?

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, I can.

Peter Dunn: Will

Kristen Ahlenius: you? I will. There's there's no greeting. So it just says, I'm financially stable and starting to think about planning my wedding. Since wedding season will be upon us, I'm already mentally counting the dollars I'm going to be spending on other people's weddings.

While I personally am in a comfortable position, I'm concerned about the financial impact my wedding could have on my family and friends. The expenses they might face like travel, other accommodations, bridal showers, bachelor, bachelorette parties, wedding attire, gifts, they're significant. I want my wedding to be enjoyable for everyone, but I'm worried it might be a financial strain for some of the people I care about.

How can I plan a memorable and beautiful wedding that is also considerate of my guests financial situations? What can I do to minimize their expenses without compromising the spirit of the day?

Peter Dunn: [00:13:00] Signed, Kristen. Kristen, is this about you?

Kristen Ahlenius: This is not about me. Are you

Peter Dunn: planning a wedding?

Kristen Ahlenius: I am not planning a wedding.

Peter Dunn: Okay, I know, you're not. Dame, this email apparently is from a unicorn, the one person that cares about other people's plans.

I'm calling BS. There's no human on the planet that is planning a wedding that cares about other people.

Kristen Ahlenius: I don't I don't think that's true. I think people start with good intentions and then realize that good luck. Like

Damian Dunn: kudos for this person for not including the phrase my day. Oh,

Peter Dunn: wait,

Damian Dunn: I feel like

Peter Dunn: we owe disclaimers.

Don't we? No, I don't care if we get a bad email, just like, Hey, it is your special day, Damien, Damien, that's amazing. My day, my special day. It's the truth. I know. Okay. [00:14:00] Back in the day when I used to be a hot take machine this was one of my favorite topics to get upset about. I think, I think the whole marriage industrial complex is a sham.

Kristen Ahlenius: The whole thing?

Peter Dunn: Oh. Wedding, wedding industrial complex. Not marriage. Sorry. Yeah. Good luck checking into that hotel tonight. Kristen what, what, just on the bait, like, Do you think in general people ask others to spend too much money on their special day?

Kristen Ahlenius: Yes.

Peter Dunn: Is it worse as a woman as a man? Because as a man, it's a rented tux and maybe like a fill a flask, you know, like what, what is it as a woman?

Kristen Ahlenius: It is, it is worse because being the cost of looking great in photos that Could exist forever is just higher for a woman. You have hair, you have makeup, you have all the [00:15:00] things. It's hard.

Peter Dunn: Wait. So I'm so in love with this conversation. Dame, we're going to talk about Kristen. Like she's not here for a second.

Okay. Kristen's first point was the photography and and the permanence of imagery as to why this is problem. There's a 50 percent chance that those pictures will be destroyed and never seen again. I have never considered that the photography is the reason why this is so hard and expensive. Well, I mean, sure.

So, so Kristen, let's, let's go here for a second. There's, there's the dress. Yeah. Like if you're a, what are you, a bridesmaid? Yeah. There's the hair and makeup. And I feel like this has evolved as much as anything. is the hair and makeup. And this is a person who has no hair nor makeup on right now. What, what are we talking here?

What, what is it? What are the dollars?

Kristen Ahlenius: I mean, [00:16:00] it totally, it can, the, the spectrum can be so wide here. And sometimes as part of being in a wedding, there will be someone on site to help with hair and makeup, but that doesn't mean the maintenance that didn't get you to that point. Wasn't really expensive.

Like you might have gotten your nails done, which could have been anywhere from like 50 to a hundred bucks because. of the pictures, you could have gotten your hair changed a hair appointment, gotten your hair re highlighted because of the upcoming event. So I don't know that it's even necessarily the day of, I think it's often the prep to get to that point to

Peter Dunn: game.

Here's something we haven't even talked about. It's all of the rigmarole before. The special day, the bachelorette parties, the bachelor parties, the trips, the showers. It's brutal. I feel like there's an entire city in middle America that is dedicated to bachelorette parties Nash Vegas. Right. And so it's Kristen, what do you think [00:17:00] you're, you're young and fun and people like you what do you think the average bachelorette party cost an attendee?

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh my word. That's tough. I would, I would say

Peter Dunn: 500 minimum,

Kristen Ahlenius: at least.

Peter Dunn: What? Because Dame, here's the thing. And it's not because I'm a creeper on Instagram. I have younger friends. Which part was the lie? They have like outfit nights. So there's like themes to each night of the bachelorette party. And I, it's not cause I'm double clicking on these.

I just, I'm

Kristen Ahlenius: out time out time

Peter Dunn: out each night of the bachelorette party. What? Correct. Yeah. There's themes each night and hashtags.

Damian Dunn: Didn't these things used to occur like over a six to eight hour period and that, that was it? Oh, Damien.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, and it always ended in hash browns, not hash tags. Yes. That's [00:18:00] terrible.

Kristen Ahlenius: That's It's not It's not like that anymore. Not even close. Okay.

Peter Dunn: So the average young that goes to be part of a wedding that's in the wedding party, you really are looking at at least a thousand dollars for the bachelorette party. A young woman will go with here a thousand bucks. You're going to shower, right?

You got to do a, you got to shower them with gifts. Correct. If it's a second wedding, is it a sprinkle just like it is for a second kid or no? Kristen like that. When you, by the way, let me tell you about hosting a radio show with Kristen. She's a silent laugher, which doesn't work. So the impact of making her laugh is the same as not making her laugh, which is really good.

So then we've got the, the, the, the shower. Oh, Kristen, what do you spend on a shower gift? You like a subway gift card? What do you do? Like 50, 100 bucks? 50 bucks, probably. Okay. Then you [00:19:00] got travel to the wedding if it is in fact a destination wedding. So we'll kind of set that aside. But then you got the special hair and makeup day and all of that.

That's what, another few hundred.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah. I think being a part of someone's wedding can easily be a 1, 000. Yes. Easily. Then there's the

Peter Dunn: expectation that you give Kind of a nice gift, right? Cause you're part of their special day. Right. Oh, man. So what's our point?

Kristen Ahlenius: We didn't answer the question at all.

Peter Dunn: We'll do that after the break.

We needed to vent. Okay. So here's what we'll do after the break. This is a financial radio show. We will answer the financial question here from this person that probably doesn't exist because they're thinking of others. This is 2024. And that's an unusual thing to do. Speaking of unusual things to do, let's go to a break.

Let's all calm down. And when we come back. We'll answer your financial questions. This is Peter Dunn and let's get her done.[00:20:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: Please don't let me forget to tell you a story off the air, which is why I just lost it. Okay. Can you, what's the topic?

Peter Dunn: Will you forget?

Kristen Ahlenius: I, getting remarried.

Peter Dunn: Okay, great.

Do you know what occurred to me this week? Hi, Caitlin. Do you know what occurred to me this week? Kristen, you might want to sit out this one for a second.

Dame? Yes? And you'll understand why when I, when I, when I declare. You'll understand why. Do you realize how much of your life is just hair removal? Do you ever think about the amount of time and energy and effort your entire, your entire life is, is about hair removal. That's that's life is life is about hair removal.

That's it. That's all you do is a periodic hair removal for some. It's a lot for others. It's not, [00:21:00] but you're always removing hair. That's what you do. It's the dumbest thing in the world.

Damian Dunn: It's it's an interesting take. I would argue that some people have to spend far fewer amounts of their life on, on such endeavors, but just you and I are bald.

Okay. So you and I are bald men

Peter Dunn: by choice. I spent a lot of time with hair removal. Yeah, absolutely. Me too. But, but even like the longs. Like Kristen she still does hair removal. Like she's still like removing some of those long hairs on her head. No, you want to jump in? Not really. Okay. I don't know what I am.

I just think like there's entire hair removal industries. It's like, it is the, it might be the dumbest part of life is hair removal.

Damian Dunn: So then is the hair removal industry, shouldn't they be subsidizing the hair growth industry on trying to find a fix for a baldness cure [00:22:00] for baldness? So

Peter Dunn: I think I've shared this with you years ago when I was a financial advisor.

I had this one client and he was like, he had a rock yard, like his yard. And this is not a euphemism. I, he, his front lawn was rocks. And I was like, huh? And he's like, well, Mowing the grass once you grow the grass is the dumbest thing in the world and it actually might be the same argument as hair growth.

So why would you go to hair growth places to then just cut it back off?

Damian Dunn: Yeah, I've often contemplated trying to figure out a way to let part of my yard go native or wild or whatever you, you want to call it, just to kind of revert back to how it normally would be and hopefully help you know, honeybees and, and other things like that.

But I just keep mowing it.

Peter Dunn: Dame. Kristen, sit out of this one. Dame, chin up. On a man, you got the face, you got nose hairs, you got [00:23:00] eyebrows, ears, you've got ears, you've got a weird eyelash from time to time, and then you got the top of the head, you got the back of the neck, it's like, what do we even have time to do?

I've never even read a, I've never read a book because of all the time

Damian Dunn: I spend Removing air, well, you listen to 'em because you can't read. 'cause the hair just eventually grows over your eyes and you have to try and figure out a way to consume that material. Otherwise,

Peter Dunn: in 3,

Damian Dunn: 2, 1,

Peter Dunn: back on the Pete, the planner show made it back to air by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

Kristen joins us to talk. An email about weddings. What was the question about the wedding? So the person said, I'm getting married. My special day's coming. I feel bad about all the things I'm doing and making people pay for what, where was the question mark? Where was the interrogative?

Kristen Ahlenius: The actual question was, how can I plan a memorable and beautiful wedding considerate [00:24:00] of others financial situations?

How can I minimize their expenses without compromising the experience rooted in the fact that this person feels they can afford it. But that they're worried that some of the people they would ask to be a part of it. Can't

Peter Dunn: zoom, zoom

Kristen Ahlenius: wedding.

Peter Dunn: I've been part of a zoom wedding. No, I

Damian Dunn: was during the pandemic.

Did you, you weren't the efficient of that wedding over zoom. Were you?

Peter Dunn: No, but I was, they did a real wedding after we were all sequestered. And I was the efficient of that one. Yes. Kristen.

Kristen Ahlenius: I was going to say the, there's a comment. Someone asked in the live stream, they said that they would like to hear feedback from couples who got married during COVID who had to scale back.

Like, do they feel that they missed out or do they, are they glad they didn't spend that money? So interesting. I would love to know.

Peter Dunn: That's a great question. Because at least the couple I'm talking about did the zoom wedding and then they did a tasteful, nice gathering after, but I don't know if the after was scaled back or not, or if it was [00:25:00] bigger, do you feel like weddings have come out of the pandemic bigger and better than ever?

Because people want to YOLO.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yes.

Damian Dunn: I I don't. I don't think I've been to a single wedding since the pandemic.

Kristen Ahlenius: What?

Peter Dunn: Okay, so let's get controversial.

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh, no.

Peter Dunn: How much should a wedding cost, Dan?

Damian Dunn: Kristen,

Peter Dunn: did you see her face?

Damian Dunn: Yeah. I mean, are we talking about like just the wedding and reception or? Yeah. No more than 10 grand.

7, 500 tops. It's not, it's not impossible at all. You just, people have way too high of standards on what they want to try and do.

Kristen Ahlenius: How, how many people are you going to feed? Where are you going to put them?

Peter Dunn: Where, what, what?

Kristen Ahlenius: Where, like, what venue are you going to rent and how are you going to rent? A hundred person, like size of the wedding totally matters, but you cannot have a wedding over a hundred people for less than 10 grand.

I don't think then

Damian Dunn: don't have over a hundred people. Yeah. A hundred people don't even like me.

Kristen Ahlenius: What?

Damian Dunn: [00:26:00] Yeah. What do you mean? What? I mean, if we're talking about trying to do something on an affordable basis, you're going to figure out, you'd run the numbers and say, all right, if I want to keep it under this amount of money, I'm probably only going to be able to have a hundred people and that's okay.

Peter Dunn: on the YouTube live stream right now. Legendary listener, Big Rick Swink recommends they have friends with pontoon boats. Just do a pontoon boat flotilla wedding. Thank you. Big Rick Swink. 10, 000 is put out as the marker of what a wedding should cost. So Dame, we're talking church rental. If that is, you know, you're the roof, you want we got you got does that include wedding dresses and flowers?

Yeah. No way. If wedding dresses are involved. Yeah. Kristen, do you think the, if there is a bride involved in a wedding, do you feel like the bride should pay for bridesmaid's dresses? Ooh.

Kristen Ahlenius: I. Such

Peter Dunn: a cluster of a topic today, I love it.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah, it sure is. I think if they, that's what's hard is like, who can objectively you know, Afford [00:27:00] it.

Peter Dunn: It's weird to commit other people to spending money. I think that's where I go. You know I'm an old person. I was married in the year 2000. This is prior to, I believe, computers and our wedding was nice. It was at a it was a church and then there was a country club reception and or not even a country club.

It was like a, like a public golf course reception. And I, I don't know how much it was, but it didn't. It was lovely, but it didn't feel super expensive. Is, is it because that was in 2000 and I was 22 years old?

Damian Dunn: I, mm, I got married in 2003 and we were under 5 grand. Yeah.

Kristen Ahlenius: How do you, my thing is the food and the venue and the booze.

I don't know how you, and I get it, you don't have to have all those things, but most of them do. I don't know how you do those things for less than that.

Peter Dunn: So you so it's the [00:28:00] food and the rental space that's catching you.

Kristen Ahlenius: I think. And I mean, have you also tried to book a photographer for anything in a really long time?

Peter Dunn: OK, that's a that's an interesting point. That's an interesting point. And I don't really know a lot about. Wedding photographers.

Kristen Ahlenius: Thousands.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. Okay. Dame, this is where the emails flow. Are you ready? Yes.

Kristen Ahlenius: Don't do it.

Peter Dunn: What does it really matter to have a good photographer? Like I, I had a decent photographer, but it's, it's over.

It's the picture. You're going to look at it once a year. Max, no one cares. Get over yourselves.

Damian Dunn: Ours. Our photographer was Average but you know how many times exactly that we look at those pictures.

Kristen Ahlenius: It's a totally different time. You guys got, they developed film. That's

Peter Dunn: so true. This

Kristen Ahlenius: isn't the

Peter Dunn: same.

Well, you can digitally [00:29:00] alter your face now. Now that's true. You hire a, hire a bot.

Damian Dunn: Yeah, you don't need makeup. It'll handle that in post.

Peter Dunn: You don't even need a camera. It's all AI photography. Now just put a picture, like your LinkedIn headshot next to your person. You don't have to make it. Oh, sorry. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris is watching on Facebook live right now.

Sorry, Chris. I forgot. I forgot. But the work you do, Chris, I'm talking about everyone else. I told everyone, but Chris, Chris, we love you. That's sorry, Chris, Chris is a pet photographer. Chris, aren't you a pet photographer though? Like, I feel like you take my people. Yeah. Kristen would love you. I will say taking pictures of pets is a lot harder than taking pictures of a bridal party.

Kristen Ahlenius: True. Well Usually like the females are different. Like when you're in a wedding and you're, no, no. [00:30:00] When you're in a wedding and you're standing with the bride and the women have it like all together, and then they're telling the men, like, if you can't see the camera, they can't see you. It's like herding cats.

Peter Dunn: Can we talk financial things for a second on our financial radio show?

Kristen Ahlenius: Perhaps. Yeah.

Peter Dunn: I think the tough part about this is how long are you going to pay for it? Yeah. Right, because with people getting married a little bit older now than when Dame and I got married. To other people. A lot of times you're seeing the person getting married, handling more of the cost of the wedding as opposed to maybe a parent.

And I can't say whether an older generation is more financially stable than a younger generation, but generally they are. So that's to say like, Dame, how long would you reasonably want a person to carry the burden of debts from a wedding or the opportunity cost for more stability because of a wedding?

A [00:31:00] year? Tops. Tops.

Kristen Ahlenius: See, I think that's what's the most difficult is the opportunity cost becomes increasingly difficult to justify. Is instead of this 20, 000 wedding, what could that money be used for when there you're at a point in your life where there are so many demands from a personal finance perspective?

Peter Dunn: So, It's I'm trying not to be rude. We're at this time where it's very common and acceptable and arguably justified to point out how hard it is for Gen Z to get on their feet financially. Right. So that's interesting, but then when it comes to the special days. All bets are off and it doesn't really matter.

You can spend whatever you want. [00:32:00]

Damian Dunn: Yeah. That doesn't seem to make sense.

Peter Dunn: All right, we're all funny for what the record here. I've been married for 24 years and she, she might regret it. Okay. Coming up after the break, we have another topic. Nah, nah, right here on the, you know, we've got more on the Pete, the planner show come back.

No more wedding talk. You can turn your radio back on, but you wouldn't know I said that cause your radio, all that's next on the Pete, the planner show. I'm Pete, the planner. There's names, birds, let them fly. Dame. We got text messages this week about dames birds.

Do we have another topic? Yeah. Is this the, my old hot takes or is that not ready? Yeah. Okay.

Kristen Ahlenius: We can, yes,

Peter Dunn: yeah. Chris makes my point. He used to be a pet photographer, but he gave it up because it's too strenuous. See, that's actually hard. [00:33:00] Yeah. You should be paid more than My, my point I was going to make is Instagram itself.

And its contribution to general vanity is what's made this so stupidly expensive because it's not just the wedding day where the pictures have to be perfect. It's the reason there's theme nights for bachelorette parties and bachelor parties is so you can show them to other people and acts of vanity.

Damian Dunn: That would be an amazing study is to compare a wedding and pre wedding activity costs to the use of social social media, that individual's use of social media. And if they use Instagram and other things a lot, do they have higher costs for events like this? Somebody do it.

Peter Dunn: If I can Did Rick just Rick just did Kids these Hashtag kids these days.

Rick Swink. Yeah. [00:34:00] Look. It is so hard to find A special person. It is so hard. Why make it about anything other than that relationship? That's my take. That's my old guy take. It is so hard. Why distract it with the opulence, you know? Anyway, there's my old guy take. Now, speaking of takes, Kristen, we're coming back with the dumb things I've said over the years?

Kristen Ahlenius: I don't know that they're dumb. I've just pulled miscellaneous quotes from some old radio show episodes and I think it'd be just interesting to hear them in 2024.

Dame has access to it. I don't want to read them all. Dame has access to it too. All right.

Peter Dunn: Can I have Dame just host this part then?

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh.

Peter Dunn: Or do you want to host that part? No,

Kristen Ahlenius: that's fine. You can

Peter Dunn: go back and forth. You will. No, I didn't. I thought you were bowing out of doing that.

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh, no, no, no. Either one is fine with me.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Let's go. Let's go. In three, two, one.[00:35:00]

Back on the Pete the Planner show. You know, I've been doing this show for 15 years. I agree. The program director at most radio stations have poor taste. But today we are going to go back into the archives and we're going to find some things that I've said over the years that Kristen finds to be wholly objectionable.

No. What, what, what's your take here on my takes?

Kristen Ahlenius: I just, I'm curious to see, we did a segment a couple weeks ago where we, it was something that you had softened on over the years, I don't remember. And I think it would be interesting to see if you still agree with some of these things.

Peter Dunn: Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Let's have at it.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay, so the first one, the first one is a, is a good one. You said, quote, some of these are paraphrases and some of these are direct quotes. I hate this already. You said, quote, [00:36:00] your grocery store trip is the opportunity to set financial standards. For your life. End quote.

What a

Peter Dunn: weird,

Kristen Ahlenius: weird taking. And taken out of context, it's even better.

Peter Dunn: Alright. Okay. Let's, can we all evaluate, can we all equally evaluate whether that's dumb or makes sense? Yeah, sure. Okay. Dame, what do you think?

Damian Dunn: I mean, what do your birds think they're hungry? So they're all in favor of spending money at a grocery set standards for your financial life.

I mean, you can, you can absolutely influence your financial life by how much you're spending in a grocery store, but I mean, setting standards. I. I mean, that is very hot takey, 2016 ish kind of stuff going on. Do we know when that's from, Kristen?

Kristen Ahlenius: It was from late, late 2016, early 2017. And to help, you followed that up with, [00:37:00] the grocery store every week gives you a chance to say how interesting it is.

Did you are in staying on the path?

Peter Dunn: Okay, I agree with the second part more than the first part. How much did you weigh

Damian Dunn: in 2016 feet?

Peter Dunn: Oh man, probably for several stones. I, you know what? It's it's a bit much I will go with that's a bit much a little tidy And but arguably true

Kristen Ahlenius: I get the sentiment here because food spending gets so out of control So fast and if you're not keeping an eye on it before you know it your grocery bill is That is probably one of the most common things at your money line when someone comes to us and they're trying to do a spending inspection one of the most common things is Oh, my word, I had no idea how much money we spend at the grocery store, so [00:38:00] I fully agree with the sentiment.

I just think that the approach of the take was questionable.

Peter Dunn: Yeah, I'm going to tell him myself a little bit on Sunday afternoons. I will go to a very nice grocery store and I will. Buy a meal for that night, and it's often it's a lot. But and so I think I try to think through the lens of well, if we went out to eat at a moderately okay dinner, it would cost this much, but I can make it better than the moderately okay dinner.

We would eat out. So I don't know. I just want to try to at least be you. Honest, right? Okay. On that take. Okay. Okay. Could they, they could get worse. What else we got?

Kristen Ahlenius: Damien?

Damian Dunn: This one, I, I think you will stand firmly by, this is a paraphrase. If you're a politician and you make bad personal finance decisions, I have a beef with that.

Just had to have been through the

Peter Dunn: Marco [00:39:00] Rubio boat thing. Oh, probably. It

Kristen Ahlenius: literally was. It was that episode specifically that he bought an 80, 000 boat and then had to liquidate his 401k.

Peter Dunn: He snorted. I, you know what, Dame, I agree with that, but I also, I'll extend a little grace, but I also want humility. I think there's a difference between buying a speed boat on a book advance when you had a bunch of debt versus someone recovers from a bankruptcy. You know, like I, It's the comeback story and and how you talk about it more than it is.

The, the malfeasance,

Damian Dunn: What do you, we had a story, gosh, I think I was on the show regularly at that point in time. It was a local politician who had, I was tens of thousands of dollars out in parent plus loans for, for their kids.

Peter Dunn: Yeah.

Damian Dunn: And I think we debated on numbers of shows or at least brought it up in conversation on whether or not that made [00:40:00] sense as a person In that position in the position they were in and I, I think it goes to show that everybody can be faced with the opportunity to make horrible life changing financial decisions.

And as you said, it's, it's all about trying to figure out, okay, if you find yourself there, how are you going to get out of it? Or are you just going to keep throwing more shovels of dirt out of that hole and getting deeper? There's a few different ways

Peter Dunn: to look at that, right? There's two politicians that I know specifics around.

Martin O'Malley was the. Former governor of Maryland, I believe. Yep. Yep. He had like 300 plus in parent plus loans. Mm-Hmm. 300 K plus.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yay.

Peter Dunn: And then former Vice President Mike Pence had over a hundred thousand in parent plus loans. So there's, again, you can, you can say it of various ways of wow. People of accomplishment and means even need to dip into parent plus loans to pay for college.

Right. And sort of like, wow, we've got a big problem here. Or you could also look at it as if they're not willing to talk about that. And then they just, you know, they try to create [00:41:00] legislation or, or, or edicts that shut the door behind them, then that's problematic too. So I'm okay with that take. I'm okay with that.

Damian Dunn: Next take. This is quotes. So I have to trust that this was actually what you said. I'm uncomfortable. The standard my house is we're not going to have a car payment. No, just not. Oh Lord. Okay.

Kristen Ahlenius: I rewound twice to hear that one.

Peter Dunn: What year was this?

Kristen Ahlenius: It was right around the same time. It would have been 2016, 2017.

Cause I, I tried to go back before Dame, but in pick up shows where you didn't have listeners on them. Because I thought we would get more hot takes as you talked yourself into these positions.

Peter Dunn: You say I didn't have listeners on the show, a million on

Kristen Ahlenius: the show, a million dollar day.

Peter Dunn: Oh, okay. I thought you were like, none of my shows have listeners.

Here's, here's the thing. My take on that [00:42:00] is evolved based on cashflow, but the situation, but this is what's dumb about giving mass advice. Guys, the situation I was in. At the time and how I felt I just give you give these big sweeping things that don't apply to everyone and then you make people feel bad if it doesn't apply to them so that I regret that I don't

Kristen Ahlenius: think there's anything wrong because that is what you said you said that like this is the standard and to to give more context to be fair to 2016 p you were talking about the importance of standards in your financial life, similar to like lifestyle or philosophical takes that people have.

Like if someone you gave the example that if someone's a vegetarian, they are just a vegetarian, like that's just who they are. And so you were talking about these are finance. You need to have similar takes with your personal finances. I do this or I don't do this. And at the time it made sense for your financial situation.[00:43:00]

Peter Dunn: Okay. Yeah, that was the that was definitely the intent.

Kristen Ahlenius: Yeah.

Peter Dunn: But again, the delivery on these, I can hear myself saying them back. Like it is always harsher when you deliver edicts, you know, boom. Okay. All right. Give me give me the worst one. Does anyone have the worst?

Kristen Ahlenius: Oh, I don't really want to do that.

Peter Dunn: Yes.

Give me the worst one.

Kristen Ahlenius: I don't, I don't want to say it. Oh,

Peter Dunn: please

Damian Dunn: do.

Kristen Ahlenius: It's the last one. I think Damien

Damian Dunn: Standard for how you feel about the future speaks to your maturity.

Peter Dunn: What does that even mean?

Kristen Ahlenius: You okay I hate

Peter Dunn: myself

Kristen Ahlenius: You were talking about the importance of saving for retirement and basically saying that if people didn't like put intentional focus there That it was speaking to their maturity level.

Peter Dunn: Okay, well, once explained, I kind of agree. No, I, that's so over the [00:44:00] top. Other than sometimes you just can't and it doesn't mean you're immature. It just means the circumstances are, man, I didn't, I knew I have some hot takes in the past, but 2016, what was going on in my life? I had a seven year old and a four year old and I was a hot take machine.

Well, speaking of hot takes coming up after the break. The biggest waste of money of the week. Yeah, I'm telling you, it's the biggest waste of money of the week. That's my hot take. I'm Pete, the planner.

I have, speaking of my propensity to make hot takes and Ooh, here you wait until I tell

Damian Dunn: you to something right after the show.

Peter Dunn: Kristen's

Damian Dunn: got a story. You've got a story and I've got a joke that I couldn't make on the air. Okay. So we each got one.

Peter Dunn: Boy. Rick says, Pete, are the are the answers to your 2016 thoughts written on the ceiling?

Kristen Ahlenius: Rick, Rick, have you missed some shows recently? That's been the theme.

Peter Dunn: I know. That's what he's saying. That's why [00:45:00] he's, he's, it's callback. It's callback. Piling on.

The feeling of being faced with a solvable problem and then it just getting out of your grasp because someone isn't willing to solve the problem. Writing your spouse's name on a hotel reservation is one that will haunt me for years to come. I can't get over it. I'm bothered by the societal idea that we are not empowered to solve problems.

I hate that. And you guys know me on these things. I, I

Damian Dunn: hate that. That's, that's an organizational issue though. I mean, it's, I mean, that, that could be fixed at a corporate level. To, to have this, this I can't think of the word, which is great for radio, but yeah, where everybody has, that wasn't it. My board was much better than that, but it's where you just [00:46:00] go take initiative, fix problems.

Peter Dunn: Thank you.

Damian Dunn: Yeah.

Peter Dunn: Let's do the show. So we can save time to talk to each other about the good stuff after the show. All right. In three, two, one. This week's biggest waste of money of the week, right here on the Pete, the planner show is penny pound ice. A lot of care went into creating the world's best spirits.

Don't ruin the experience with frozen tap water. Penny pound ice is thoughtfully made perfectly clear ice worthy of your favorite spirit or cocktail. The company uses machines to constantly agitate the water as it freezes over the course of three to five days. It's a process that pushes all the impurities to the top.

That section is then removed, leaving a 300 pound block of clear ice that's then cut down by hand. That seems sanitary. And in the case [00:47:00] of the spheres pressed or drilled, pressed to create the final form, they offer everything from pebble ice and diamond shaped chunks to cubes and spheres containing edible flowers, herbs, and even golf leaves.

Oh, I think it's supposed to say gold leaves with a club way to go website with a client list that includes some of the best bars in the area. Their products are made for the discerning drinker and available delivery across Southern California. So, okay, how much does penny pound ice cost? I'm going to choose a shape and then I will let you go here.

A bag. Of eight diamonds. Do you want to, you want to try to price that or do you want to go with. A bag of 10 [00:48:00] spears. What do you want?

Kristen Ahlenius: A bag of 10 spears.

Peter Dunn: Okay. A bag of 10 units spears. How much?

Kristen Ahlenius: Me or Damien?

Peter Dunn: By you. We always go with you first.

Kristen Ahlenius: Well, not always. Bag of 10. These are like, just so that I'm clear, these would be for the individual.

Like I get a spear for. It's like a highball

Peter Dunn: glass and you. Yep.

Kristen Ahlenius: Okay. They are 70.

Damian Dunn: Pete do you have any information on how they agitate the water? I believe

Peter Dunn: I believe they just have, like, toddlers run their hands through the water. Okay, alright.

I will say 10 spears, 10 spears, bag of 10 spears, a hundred bucks.

Here's the thing. It's 15. And you're thinking, well, that's wildly affordable, but it just all seems like so much like a seven. It just like, I love good ice. Don't get me [00:49:00] wrong. But you're like, you're, you're shipping in diamond shaped ice and all these sorts of things. It just seems like that means you're serving 10 drinks.

You're adding 1 50. Of cost per drink. That's a lot.

Damian Dunn: I feel like Kristen and I were led astray or misled on this one before I

Kristen Ahlenius: think we were too what's interesting is they filtered out the impurities, but then shipped it in plastic

Peter Dunn: dame What's in the news this week?

Damian Dunn: Social security's finances are in dire straits because soon they won't have money for nothing.

Kristen Ahlenius: Not again.

Peter Dunn: Wow Wow Yes, did you do that on your video this morning? Yes Wow kristen, are you there? What? He is not. Alright. It's a song lyric. Dire Straits. Money for nothing. Money for nothing.

Damian Dunn: I'll send you the link to the video. You will not believe it. It's like 8 [00:50:00] bit video. It's crazy. Nice. That was so good.

Anyway, an aging population is pushing up the cost of the program as a smaller share of Americans directly pay into it. That imbalance means that Social Security could become able to provide full retirement and disability benefits to Americans in 2035, according to the program's trustees earlier this week.

At that point, without congressional action, elderly and disabled Americans who rely on Social Security could see their payments cut by 17%. Thank you very much. Congress could avoid this crisis by raising payroll taxes and trimming some of the benefits or a combination of the two, but let's get honest that's not going to happen.

But they may not have to, the U. S. government will still likely be able to afford to pay the benefits to retired and disabled Americans in 2035, whether it does so will in some ways be an accounting decision for lawmakers who control how money is classified within the government and whether they want to tackle the tough questions about federal spending or sidestep the politically radioactive debate all together.[00:51:00]

Kristen Ahlenius: Is this, Pete and I were having this conversation the other day about how sometimes in, when we're looking. Yeah. In the work that we do with people's personal financial lives, the decisions they're making today might not be what serve them longterm, but they're really the decisions they have at the time, like the options they have at the time.

And I don't want to give any more details. Cause I don't want to provide any more insight into someone's situation, but like, I almost feel like this is the same thing, but at the government level is like, this is not today's problem to fix. And So I'm not worried about it. This is a future political parties problem or future seats problem.

Like this is not my problem.

Damian Dunn: Yeah, this will absolutely get kicked until the very absolute last minute. And then if that doesn't work, maybe there's fire, the printing presses up and [00:52:00] money magically appears. The weirdest part about this is

Peter Dunn: it takes someone with courage to solve this problem. And we all want this problem solved.

But we don't want anyone to have the courage to solve it. And then when it doesn't get solved, people will say, why didn't anyone solve it? It like, right. It's just like, even if a person ran for president on this, they would lose so badly. Yet if they fought, they would win. They would fix the problem and avoid

Damian Dunn: the unknown pain that will come.

It's, it's, it's crazy. Somebody has to be willing to be a one termer. This is it. They're going to fix this or they're going to end their career on making this the only thing that they get done. Well, maybe not the only thing, but the, the linchpin of what they are doing in their political career. And. Until [00:53:00] then, until somebody is what, or a bunch of people are ready to take that stand, it's just going to get kicked down the road

Peter Dunn: because it will be interpreted as Peter Dunn wants to take money away from seniors.

And it's like, no, I don't. Or he's going to raise your taxes. Peter Dunn's going to raise your tax. Here it is. I'm running for president. No, I'm not. I'm barely the president of our own organization. I believe. That this problem will never actually get solved because no one, it's not even that they don't have the courage to do it is their courage will be met with resistance.

And so their courage is pointless. It's so frustrating.

Damian Dunn: What else is in the news? FTX's customers are getting their money back plus interest. This probably isn't an outcome that anyone would have bet on when the crypto exchange imploded in 2022, but attorneys for the bankrupt company say they've found enough cash to pay back its customers with interest.

The recovery of the crypto market [00:54:00] plus the ability to sell assets like a stake in AI company Anthropic will give FTX as much as cash. 16. 3 billion to distribute plan still has to be okayed by a judge, though, but current CEO, John Ray, who took over FTX after its collapse noted in any bankruptcy, this is just an unbelievable result.

However, there won't be any money left for the investors who backed.

Kristen Ahlenius: There it is.

Peter Dunn: I was listening to an interview with Kevin Bacon the other day and he was talking about how he and his wife, Kira Sedgwick, were major victims of the Bernie Madoff scandal and they lost a vast majority of their money. And so what's interesting about this, you think about someone like Kevin Bacon who literally has like a thousand credits to his name and his net worth right now is reported to be somewhere between 35 to 40 million or something like that.

And hey, y'all, that's a lot of money, but then you compare it to people that might be his contemporaries and they're two to [00:55:00] 300 million. Again, also a lot of money, tiny violence for everyone involved. And you're like, Holy cow. Most of these times in these scams, people are not even made close to whole.

It is remarkable that FTX folks are made whole on this.

Damian Dunn: Yeah, completely unexpected. And I'm super happy for them. And it's working out just the way it should let the people invest to get their money back. And investors, you took the risk up front. You knew that this was a possibility and you aren't going to.

And it's

Peter Dunn: with that we do all we can, and all we can do is send you good vibes because good vibes are all that's in the budget. If you're planning a wedding for this spring, summer, fall or winter, please know it is about the marriage. It's not about the party. I'm Pete the planner. Stay classy. Don't laugh over my line.

It was no, I'm kidding. Sorry. Like, I don't feel any. There's no [00:56:00] topic that makes me feel older than complaining about weddings. You know, like it makes me, what do you say? Greenups. I doesn't make me, no, I actually, no, I, I, I see the prudence of pre nups. I don't see the prudence of a hundred thousand dollar wedding.

I think those are few

Kristen Ahlenius: and far between.

Peter Dunn: Oh, look at, we got, you got knowledge here being dropped on us. This is common in a lot of financial bankruptcies. You aren't getting the asset share in Amazon Bitcoin, but are getting the value of the asset at the time of bankruptcy. Look at that. Thank you for that contribution.

Chetan, Chetan, sorry I mispronounced your name, probably dead. Okay, everybody. Well, now I'm going to, did it not feel like I talked, I talked for like 11 minutes to start the show and we're still two minutes early an hour. How

Kristen Ahlenius: I wasn't yapping.

Peter Dunn: Okay. Well, [00:57:00] everybody, this has been lovely. Stay getting money.