00:02
Peter Dunn
You know, I had to fly to London, England, to unleash the best joke I've ever made in my entire life off the cuff. And fortunately, I remembered the joke, so I can share it with you here on the Pete the Planner show. Hello, everybody. Hello, Dame. Hello. Kristen was in London over the last couple of weeks, and now I am back and I am a world traveler. I am more obnoxious than you. Do you remember that time I was in London?
00:34
Damian Dunn
It was two weeks ago.
00:36
Peter Dunn
And I'm going to tell you all sorts of fun stories from my journeys across the pond. So. Hello, Dame.
00:42
Damian Dunn
Hello, Pete.
00:44
Peter Dunn
Kristen Ola.
00:46
Kristen Ahlenius
Hello.
00:47
Peter Dunn
Word is Kristen was nearly removed from a flight from Charlotte to Austin, Texas, for abusing flight attendants. Is this true, Kristen?
00:56
Kristen Ahlenius
That's almost how it happened, yeah.
00:59
Peter Dunn
Actually, someone on her flight was removed from Charlotte to Austin, Texas for being verbally abusive of those attending the flight. Dame, did you have any travel related stories over the last couple of weeks that you wanted to get out there?
01:14
Damian Dunn
No, but I'm just thinking about how amazing it would be if those people listened to the podcast.
01:19
Peter Dunn
All right. That would be amazing. All right. So I've got three elements of my trip I would love. Four that I would like to share with you throughout the show today. Here are the topics. I'm actually going to write them down because I will forget them because you have all met me. Okay. One is soccer related. One is directions. Another one are soccer fans related. And the other one is the greatest joke I've ever told off the cuff in the moment.
01:50
Damian Dunn
I am so nervous for that.
01:52
Peter Dunn
I got to tell you exactly.
01:54
Kristen Ahlenius
I am so nervous because.
01:58
Damian Dunn
There's pressure on us now to react like it's the best joke you've ever told.
02:03
Kristen Ahlenius
Not react at all, because that would be pretty funny.
02:06
Peter Dunn
Okay, I'm just going to say I think you'll think it's funny and it was delivered to another American, so it's not the awkwardness of me being funny to, like, a server at a pub and then staring me down.
02:21
Damian Dunn
Do you think both of us will find it funny or just me?
02:25
Peter Dunn
I think you'll both like it. Okay, let's do a little game here. I'm not going to tell the joke yet, but I want to do this on a scale of one to ten, one being not at all funny and ten being you're right. That is pretty darn funny. Kristen, pre hearing the joke, where do you think you will land? Where do you think you will land?
02:44
Kristen Ahlenius
I think I'm going to land right in the middle.
02:47
Peter Dunn
Fine.
02:47
Kristen Ahlenius
Because you hyped it up.
02:49
Peter Dunn
Oh, no, this is okay. Dane, where will you land?
02:52
Damian Dunn
I trust your sense of humor and your delivery is impeccable. I will go with an eight.
02:59
Peter Dunn
Okay, I appreciate that. Let me tell you about the lack of gratuity in England. You go to a restaurant, everything is contactless pay. I didn't pull out a piece of plastic once. There I apple paid my entire ten day journey, and there's no gratuity. Now, what happens at a meal is the meal is going well, everything's fast. Food comes out fast. You don't get a lot of refills, necessarily. And then when the meal ends, everything bogs down. Because if you think about incentives for a second, what does the server care if they turn over the table? It is less work to not turn over the table, because if they have a new group of people, they're getting paid the same either way. So I love the lack of gratuity, but then I started to see the flaws in it.
03:51
Damian Dunn
Interesting.
03:53
Peter Dunn
Yeah. The contactless pay, though, life changing. Now.
03:58
Damian Dunn
Do you think that's a hindrance for some people? And they might spend more since they just wave a hand?
04:07
Peter Dunn
I did. Oh, I certainly did. Yeah.
04:12
Damian Dunn
See? Big plus for convenience. Big potential minus for staying within budget.
04:19
Peter Dunn
Yeah. So went over there as part of a soccer training trip. Yeah. Not only have I written columns about the disasters of youth travel sports, I just went to London for ten days to a soccer training trip for my eleven year old son and 14 year old daughter. But it is. But it isn't. So it's our soccer club, right? Like our group in Carmel, Indiana. So what you've got is 100 travelers from Carmel, Indiana, traveling to London to train soccer for their children. The jokes write themselves.
04:58
Damian Dunn
A soccer club, you say?
05:00
Peter Dunn
Football club. Actually, Carmel FC football. Whatever preconceived notions you have about Type A Carmel parents traveling to London and how that would add complexities, you're underestimating it.
05:15
Damian Dunn
I'm sure Mitzi had a wonderful was it was something.
05:20
Peter Dunn
I can't actually tell some of the stories on air, but I've set aside time after we go off the air today to tell you two things unbelievable to the point of like, I shivered when I was experiencing one of them. I was not cold, I was physically cringing. Like, my body shivered when I experienced something, and I will share it with you.
05:51
Damian Dunn
I can't wait.
05:52
Kristen Ahlenius
I cannot wait. I'm more excited about that than the joke. Really?
05:55
Peter Dunn
Okay. I'm telling you the joke now because the joke is so good.
06:02
Kristen Ahlenius
I hope I get it.
06:03
Peter Dunn
Okay. We know a lot of the parents were on this trip because we've just played our kids have played soccer with their kids for years. Right? So you know them, but you don't know them well enough to travel with them for ten days, but you get to know them. So one of the guys on the trip, really nice guy, is a podiatrist. Okay. Right. Podiatrist. For those that don't know that is someone a foot doctor, a foot specialist. So one day we arise. I don't know what you do in London. Maybe just wake up and he comes down to breakfast or whatever and he's got these unbelievable walking shoes. And I'm thinking to myself, man, this guy wouldn't know, right? It's like, what does a barber's haircut look like? It should be good, right? What shoes does a podiatrist wear? And these things, they look like spaceships.
07:04
Peter Dunn
They're different looking, they're amazing, but at the same time they're kind of like are they fashionable? Are they not fashionable? They might be, but it's right on the cusp, right? And I say to the guy's wife, I said, Tarek's shoes are really fascia forward.
07:29
Kristen Ahlenius
I don't get it.
07:36
Damian Dunn
That was really good.
07:37
Peter Dunn
Thank you. I was so pleased with myself.
07:42
Kristen Ahlenius
Wait a minute, I don't get it.
07:44
Peter Dunn
Fascia. Fascia are like parts of your body, like little tendons and whatnot? I don't know.
07:52
Kristen Ahlenius
Capillaries.
07:53
Peter Dunn
I don't know what they are. Plantar fasciitis. Have you heard of plantar fasciitis? Right? Yes, fascia. Like part of our like my neck has fascia. I don't know. My hair used to have fascia. Anyway, I was like, man, those are really fascia forward. And I felt clever.
08:14
Damian Dunn
The thin coating of connective tissue.
08:17
Peter Dunn
Okay. Did you google that?
08:18
Damian Dunn
Yeah.
08:19
Peter Dunn
Okay, this is a financial show. Okay, let's start the show. Text from my accountant. That's fun. Two days before tax deadline.
08:34
Kristen Ahlenius
Oh, so you haven't filed yet.
08:37
Damian Dunn
I get taxes from my accountant.
08:38
Peter Dunn
Calm down. Yeah, you do. It's like pick up the kids. Their practice ends at four. Okay, let's start the show. What are we doing? We want to do that. Inheritance question.
08:49
Damian Dunn
Email first.
08:50
Peter Dunn
Yeah. In three, two, one. This week on The Pete the Planner Show, we answer your money questions. Here's how the show works. You email us askpete@petetheplanner.com. That's Askpete@petetheplanner.com. We are so glad you are joining us here today. Whether you're listening on WIO in Kokomo or WTRC in Micheluka, or even down in Bloomington on WGCL or on the podcast or on our Friday Livestream at 10:00 A.m.. Hello, everyone. Damian Dunn, Kristen Ahlenius joined me. Kristen, hello. Hello, Damien. Now say hello to Kristen.
09:26
Damian Dunn
Hello, Kristen.
09:28
Peter Dunn
Neat. Okay, so we got an email, as is how the show works because people email us at Askpete@petetheplanner.com and our job is to enlighten them with delight. This one says, Hello, Pete and Co. And for those that listen to the show, the joke there really is this is Kristen's show that we called Kristen and Co. Long time listener, first time with enough money to ask about.
09:53
Damian Dunn
I like it.
09:54
Peter Dunn
Now, as this email gets read here that's interesting. How many timeouts do I get? Dane per?
10:03
Damian Dunn
Two per segment. 131 full.
10:05
Peter Dunn
Okay, I'm going to take a 30 here. Kristen, what we want this show to be is that we can talk about financial concepts, get a person's brain ready, so then when the right opportunity or the right amount of resources come into their life, they are ready to act and they feel that's why we do the show. The show is not for people with money. It's to prepare anyone who might come across money. Is that fair?
10:32
Kristen Ahlenius
That is fair, yes.
10:33
Peter Dunn
Dame?
10:34
Damian Dunn
Yes.
10:35
Peter Dunn
My grandmother I'm reading the email. Yes. My grandmother recently passed, leaving me a higher than expected amount, and I'm not too sure where to put it. I am in need of housing and am familiar with home rehabilitation, so I am contemplating buying a house to live in and work on it. However, I do I'm saying that because the person capitalized those know do have a fiance and a one and a half year old and a one month year old. Dame, can you have a one month year old?
11:13
Damian Dunn
Are you taking another time out?
11:15
Peter Dunn
Yeah, I'm going to blow them all in the first half.
11:18
Damian Dunn
Yeah, no, I don't believe you can have a one month year old. But we'll chalk it up to somebody being maybe a little nervous composing the.
11:24
Peter Dunn
First email to us, just weighing options and trying to find happy mediums so we're all taken care of. But then I heard of some other account adding 14.5%. Is this true? Okay, wow. We got a lot to deal with. They did not leave their name, so I assume that their parents didn't name them. Kristen, what jumps out to you in this email?
11:46
Kristen Ahlenius
The thing that jumps out to me in this email is the danger that is being familiar with home rehab or Renault and having two under two.
11:59
Peter Dunn
Okay. So the confidence a person may have in their ability to Renault, as the kids call it, which I've never heard until just now. Thank God.
12:07
Damian Dunn
Really?
12:08
Peter Dunn
Renault?
12:09
Damian Dunn
Yeah.
12:10
Peter Dunn
I've heard of repo.
12:12
Kristen Ahlenius
Not the same Renault.
12:14
Peter Dunn
Really? How much time did you save by saying Renault?
12:18
Damian Dunn
Two syllables.
12:20
Peter Dunn
Kristen, you don't sit in a lot of meetings with our vice president of marketing, but one of the things he says when he agrees with you is he'll say what? Damien?
12:30
Damian Dunn
I don't know. He never agrees with me.
12:32
Peter Dunn
Good point. He says 100%. This week he started saying 100. P. And I thought, you know, how much time are you saving by not saying or sent? Anyway, Dave, what jumps out to you about this email?
12:51
Damian Dunn
What jumps out at me is that I am in need of housing and familiar with rehabilitation, and I do have a fiance and I want to build work on this house. I'm wondering if there's buy in from the fiance and the perspective that's going on.
13:08
Peter Dunn
Oh, I did not capture that, sir.
13:10
Kristen Ahlenius
Yeah, the fiance wants a.
13:19
Peter Dunn
Kristen, do you think this emailer is a lady or do you think this is a.
13:27
Kristen Ahlenius
Know, I have a gut reaction, but I think it's a guy.
13:34
Peter Dunn
I think it's a oh, dame, what.
13:37
Damian Dunn
Do you I would go with guy.
13:43
Peter Dunn
Really? I wouldn't think a guy would call their grandma a grandmother.
13:48
Kristen Ahlenius
Really?
13:49
Peter Dunn
Yeah. I'm not the point of this. Okay, here's what sticks out to me. They heard there's an account adding 14 and a half percent. Is this true? We also know that is not true. Right. There is nothing giving you 14 and a half percent. Maybe they meant four and a half percent, which there would be getting closer to, but even then that would be sort of tough. I know of something getting 4.2, I believe. So here's why I bring up that 14 and a half percent if they did mean to put 14 and a half percent and that is one of the questions within the email, then emailer and listener, I think. Dame we got to make sure that we're level set about some maybe financial certainties or we need to make sure that we're all understanding the dynamics of this situation. Because I don't know how any way to say it that's a novice question.
14:50
Peter Dunn
It sounds really rude to say, but if someone's wondering if 14 and a half percent is a real thing, then we're going to need to make sure if we're going to give housing guidance right now, that were very specific about down payment, about the amount that the mortgage needs to equal in relation to the person's take home pay. And I say that with respect, but that's what I sniffed out when I read this email.
15:14
Damian Dunn
And there's other considerations. If we're going to start from the basic building blocks of a good financial life, what's the emergency fund look like? We've got two kids at home. Assuming that there's only one income, and I don't know why I'm assuming that, but I am. Are we making sure that we're taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of before we get into a question of a bigger outlay for housing?
15:42
Peter Dunn
Yeah, because, Kristen, doesn't it seem like that the inheritance triggered the move?
15:48
Kristen Ahlenius
Yeah, it does. And I don't know really how to conceptualize this, but when I think about an inheritance, I'm going to talk through it, I guess. When I think about an inheritance, I always like to think of how can it do work that maybe I wouldn't have been able to do, but not necessarily impact my day to day. So if they weren't in a position to be able to afford the mortgage payment on this house, I don't want the inheritance to provide that opportunity. I want the inheritance to fund those goals that were just out of reach, like 529 plans or a big er wedding, like those kinds of things.
16:26
Peter Dunn
Yeah, interesting point, right? Because fiance would indicate that they would spend some semblance of money on a wedding, but it wasn't brought up, which I'm kind of glad that it's like, oh, I got left a bunch of money, now we can fund our wedding. That would actually scare me more than anything.
16:45
Damian Dunn
Are you opposed to having a wedding of your Pete?
16:49
Peter Dunn
Yes. Yeah, I actually am. Go figure. What does a person look like who feels that way. They look like me. They look like me. This is fascinating because Dave, remember when there and then maybe this trend still exists, but I'll just say 1520 years ago, there was a massive trend of parents gifting down payment money to young adults for a house. And go figure. I was against that because it tricks the bank into thinking this is a person who can otherwise handle homeownership. I view that pillar of homeownership, or I should say that hurdle to homeownership, an important part of the process that if you try to circumvent, you're going to end up hurting yourself. Does this instant down payment or massive inheritance, which just purchases a house, does it also circumvent the Prudence of homeownership?
17:53
Damian Dunn
Yeah, I think it could. I think some of those things be sniffed out on loan application, but I think it could absolutely circumvent.
18:01
Peter Dunn
Yeah. Kristen, I would love to know the credit score here, even though I hate credit scores.
18:05
Kristen Ahlenius
OOH, I didn't think about that.
18:08
Peter Dunn
All right, that's all we have time for this segment. Coming up after the break, is the breadwinner still a thing? Find out next. I'm Pete the planner. I accidentally looked down at the time and accidentally caught it with 7 seconds to go.
18:21
Damian Dunn
That's why I was kind of brief. I was trying to give you.
18:27
Peter Dunn
I.
18:27
Kristen Ahlenius
Thought you were doing that thing that you did to me last time where you asked me a question with, like, 2 seconds left.
18:31
Peter Dunn
I was like, no, but I am going to do that next segment. I forgot about it. Jeremiah, we're not taking April off. Sorry. I was in Europe with a backpack. All right. By the way, Dame, one to ten, great joke. You thought it would feel like an eight before hearing the joke. After you heard the joke, where do you put it?
18:56
Damian Dunn
I got to say, it's kind of a combination. I think it's a good eight, but it was a combination of the joke and Kristen's clear miss on it was genuinely funny. And then the fact that somebody didn't get it.
19:10
Peter Dunn
Yeah. So you stick at the eight.
19:12
Damian Dunn
Yeah, I think eight's right where it landed.
19:14
Peter Dunn
Kristen, you thought of five, but then you didn't understand. What most of us understand about our bodies is that they contain a degree.
19:21
Damian Dunn
Of fascia, a lot of it, actually.
19:25
Peter Dunn
So you said a five. Where are you now?
19:27
Kristen Ahlenius
If I would have gotten it, I would have thought it was funnier, but because I didn't get it so it's a five.
19:34
Damian Dunn
Yeah. I think five is strong from Kristen's standpoint, but I'll let her save face.
19:38
Peter Dunn
And say, all right. So, needless to say, Dame at least knows this. I really have come in the last several years, and by several, I mean three, to enjoy football, to enjoy soccer. I love to watch it, I love to coach it. I don't know. I got bit. So one of the things we did over in London is went to some Premier League soccer matches, which is the short of the World Cup, I would argue is like the creme de la creme. It's like it is the epitome of the soccer world is watching a Premier League match. And so while I've watched hundreds on TV over the last few years, I've never been to anything like this. Now, I have been to Indie Eleven Games, which are professional soccer games in a second league here in the United States. But I've never been to this sort of thing.
20:26
Peter Dunn
So I go to the West Ham versus Southampton game on Sunday, April 1, which was Ted's birthday. I don't know any of the protocol of these things other than what I've seen on TV. I get there. We get there right on time because we had to run from the Underground to get there. We just got there. And so we get in our row, people just stand up and let us in, and the game has started and everyone's just locked in. Well, so we came from training. No one in my family had eaten. And I'm like, I got to get some people some food. Like, people are melting down. So I'm like, I'm just going to go get us whatever they have in the concession stand. So I get up and I'm like going back through the aisle, and this one dude, probably second seat in Tatted up, is not happy.
21:21
Peter Dunn
Is not happy that I'm getting up and he can already sense my Americanism, right? So I go and get food and I come back with, like, four hot dogs, a bunch of drinks, because I'm just like, look, I got to feed the people here. So I get back to the aisle where he and his lady have got to stand up. And at this point, he is mad at me. He hates me. And he's looking me in the eye and he's just, like, about to kill me. And he stands up and his lady is standing next to him and he's just eyeballing me. Like, I don't necessarily know what it feels like to be eyeballed right prior to murder, but this is what it feels like. I think his lady friend puts her hand on his shoulder and she goes, Breathe. Just breathe. Breathe. Just breathe.
22:23
Peter Dunn
And so I get through and I sit down. I'm like, oh, my God, that was nuts. Two days later, we are at touring Tottenham Stadium, which is one of the greatest stadiums ever. So we're touring this stadium, we're going through the stadium tour, and the tour guide is like, hey, you have to understand, I'm not going to try to do a British accent. He's like, you need to understand that in England, when you watch a football match, you don't eat. It's not snack time. You sit there for 45 minutes and you lock in. And then when they blow the whistle for halftime, you get up and do whatever you want. So I violated this thing. And then now that he said that, I'm thinking back to the game. No one else is getting up, no one else is eating, no one else is drinking, except this American with four foot long hot dogs, which they were like 100, was just like, oh, my God, I almost got killed at a Premier League game because I'm an idiot.
23:17
Peter Dunn
And fortunately, that guy's lady was like, Breathe, just breathe. And so now when we try to calm people down at our house, we go, Breathe. Just breathe.
23:27
Damian Dunn
Can you see you getting out into the concourse? And we're like, man, there's no lines here. This is great.
23:32
Peter Dunn
Literally no one was in the concourse. No one. I went up to the concession, say, I was like, yeah, I'll take four dogs, a couple of bottles of water. And they were, like, looking at me like my head had fallen off. But what had actually had happened is I was a dumb American.
23:49
Damian Dunn
Excuse me, your Americanism is woo.
23:55
Peter Dunn
All right, next segment.
23:58
Damian Dunn
So are you going to just be upset when people get up from the dinner table or just try and bring that part of England home with you now?
24:09
Peter Dunn
Pretty much. I get mad at everything now.
24:12
Damian Dunn
Just brief look at people on the sidelines while you're coaching, as they stand up to go back to their truck to get a refill, walk back over big time.
24:21
Peter Dunn
So when our boys and girls played against the local talent because we set up friendlies.
24:29
Damian Dunn
We got killed.
24:34
Peter Dunn
Absolutely killed. It was fun to watch because these kids were nuts. It was like a different sport. Our kids played hard and they played.
24:47
Damian Dunn
Well, but dude so same age, mate.
24:53
Peter Dunn
Same age.
24:55
Damian Dunn
How old of American kids do you think those younger kids could have beaten?
25:02
Peter Dunn
A year or two. Older, but top talent, right? So my daughter played three years up because the team that went so my daughter's 14, but she played with 16 and 17 year olds, so she was just getting yeah, my daughter's decent, but for some context here. So one of the Premier League clubs name is Bournemouth, okay? It's a club called Bournemouth, and each club has an academy where they take eight and nine and ten year olds and they sign them then and then take them all the way through the system and then they will sell them. Yes. You've got this, right? That's how the clubs make money. They sell this talent. So my daughter's team played the U 16s under 16s Bournemouth. So they played a Premier League women's team, which these players had been signed so they could be sold later and got killed.
26:00
Peter Dunn
And it was great and it was fun to watch and it was intense.
26:04
Damian Dunn
And yet somehow US women's soccer still regularly wins the World Cup.
26:09
Peter Dunn
More on that in our next break.
26:11
Damian Dunn
Excellent.
26:11
Peter Dunn
All right, let's start in three, two, one. Back on the Pete the Planner show, if you're listening on WIBC or flagship station out of Indianapolis, good day. If you're not listening on that particular station, good day. Dame you sent an article, maybe Kristen did a little bit earlier today that had mention of the concept of being the primary breadwinner and whether that is an archaic idea. Is it realistic? And so what I would love to do over the next couple of segments is try to have an honest and fair conversation around the advantages and disadvantages of being a one income household versus a two income household. And then how close are those incomes if there is a two income household in terms of are people splitting the household income? So, Kristen, you generally know where to begin on these sorts of things. Where do we take a bite off of this apple?
27:12
Kristen Ahlenius
I don't know where to take a bite off this apple because the thing that I thought of actually first was some research from one of my classes about how whether you're a female breadwinner in your home or not can actually influence the arguments that happen within your household.
27:29
Peter Dunn
Okay. I love this because back when I was actually a financial person, I would notice this amongst the families in which the woman in a heterosexual household, if they were making more money, the dynamics of that household were completely different. This is anecdotal this was my own research back in the mid two thousand s one hundred percent agree with whatever that research suggests.
27:59
Kristen Ahlenius
Well, the research. So the paper was titled Does She Think It Matters who Makes More Perceived Differences in Types of Relationship Arguments among Female Breadwinners and non Breadwinners? And it goes on to discuss that when women earned more, they were more argumentative about household chores, couple relationship and communication, and then women who earned less reported arguments about more arguments around time and scheduling.
28:35
Peter Dunn
Did anyone else pick up on the loaded word of argumentative? If a woman brings up something that doesn't seem fair, is that an argument or is it just pointing out truth?
28:46
Kristen Ahlenius
It's just truth.
28:47
Peter Dunn
First of all, right, that seems like a really loaded phrase.
28:51
Kristen Ahlenius
And later in their summary, that also does not sit right with me. It says women who earned more were more likely to be critical of, seemingly hostile toward, and less likely to look for mutual resolution to arguments. And I just think that language is no good.
29:08
Peter Dunn
Dame do you know the name of the men that did this study?
29:12
Damian Dunn
I was just wondering what academic journal published this, because I'd love to get a subscription.
29:19
Peter Dunn
All right, let's start with this concept of single income households versus double income households. Earlier in our Slack channel, were just talking about what are some of the advantages and disadvantages? Dame to some degree, if your household total income is dependent on two incomes, there is a degree of risk of that if one person loses their job, you lose half your income. That's not reason enough to not have this structure. But that's an interesting point.
29:55
Damian Dunn
Yeah, I think there's a risk that kind of goes unacknowledged in a lot of cases because you see these dollars rolling in and you're hopefully being able to achieve goals faster, more rapid pace than you might have otherwise. But if you're living like most normal folks do you're probably stretching things out and maybe spending a little bit more having some lifestyle inflation here and there. And if you lose one of those incomes or somebody has to take a reduction in work hours and drops their pay a little bit, things get tight really fast and everybody's still working potentially. And you're not making the same money and you're forced to deal with this potentially over inflated lifestyle that you've built on two incomes, and now you've only got one.
30:44
Peter Dunn
Kristen, why is this inherently a complicated and dicey and risky conversation? Why?
30:52
Kristen Ahlenius
Because I think by nature we're anxious and vulnerable when it comes to personal finances. And then when someone brings up these potential dynamics that it makes you I don't think that we naturally want to take a step back and think that, hey, maybe like right there I was ready to tell Damien he was wrong. Right. Because I was feeling defensive.
31:14
Peter Dunn
Please do it makes for better radio.
31:16
Kristen Ahlenius
Well, I just think that's the nature of the topic is just because it's so emotionally charged, we don't always look with that lens of is Damien being this is he trying to be I you take it a little more personally.
31:30
Peter Dunn
So my theory on this and this is I haven't thought about this in a while, but here's my theory on this is based on how you were raised and socialized that no matter what situation you find yourself in you're swimming upstream against how you were brought up. So in my household, my dad was far and away the primary breadwinner. At times my mom worked, at times she didn't. And so that's what I saw. And so whatever my reality is now, I have to rectify against that because that was normal to me. So that doesn't make me right or wrong. It doesn't mean one of the situation is right or wrong. It just means that after 18 years of watching that I have to come to terms with that dame. Does that resonate?
32:21
Damian Dunn
Yeah. My parents got divorced when I was in elementary school and so I grew up seeing both of my parents work but maintaining two separate households. And so it came across as not unusual at all to see both men and women going out and earning a living. And I remember clearly I got married to Mrs. Advice 20 years ago almost. Now when she started her career at a big four accounting firm and she was identified as somebody who could potentially. Be on a partner track. The partner that she was talking to, or I guess they weren't quite yet a partner, was shocked to learn that I supported her chasing her career and was going to maybe make concessions in my career to help her get to that level if that's what she wanted to attain. So I know this is a tough conversation for some people to have and some people have it on moral grounds or what they'll claim are moral grounds or just family dynamic grounds.
33:24
Damian Dunn
But this is something that everyday individuals have to find a way to deal with and come to terms with. Because just because you see it one way doesn't mean the person that you cared very deeply about sees it the exact same way.
33:37
Peter Dunn
Thoughts, Kristen?
33:39
Kristen Ahlenius
Well, can we go back to the risk of one versus two income households?
33:43
Peter Dunn
Please do.
33:44
Kristen Ahlenius
I don't see it that way. I see it as if you have a two income household and you lose one income, you've maintained some level of base. If I lose my job, I'm at zero. So I don't personally see it that way. I think the same risk still exists. I could be living an inflated lifestyle as a single income household. I could be eating up all of that margin as a single income household. But if I were financially dependent on a partner and they lost their income, we still have the article said, like 40% to 60%. There's still something there.
34:20
Peter Dunn
That's a good point. That is an interesting point. Right? Because to the same point, if I lose my job, if the board of your money line removes me as CEO, which, look, they talk about daily, my household knows income, right? So it's the same level of risk, actually, probably more risk than if our income was divided.
34:46
Kristen Ahlenius
Right. Especially because there's other people dependent on your income. My dogs, they would be upset, but they'll be fine.
34:53
Peter Dunn
All right, so we're going to keep exploring this topic in the next segment. And one thing I want to explore, and it's something that I think about and related to my situation, is because I'm the only one that contribute to a retirement plan at work. If we had the exact same household income, but it was divided amongst my wife and I, if she was generating income as well, we could put twice the amount into our retirement plan than we can now. And I think that's important. I think that's significant. We'll touch on that. We'll also touch on is the concept of breadwinner so archaic that it's offensive. Right? So we'll talk about that next, right, Kristen?
35:32
Kristen Ahlenius
Right.
35:33
Peter Dunn
Thank you. Right here on the Pete the Planner show. I'm Pete the Planner.
35:43
Kristen Ahlenius
I liked Jason's comment. It made me laugh while Dame was talking.
35:54
Damian Dunn
I often say I go to events with my wife just to be her arm candy.
35:58
Peter Dunn
Good for you. All right, so we're on a bus in the countryside of England. You're looking out on the fields and you're seeing sheep and moot jacks. That's right, moot jacks. Do you know what a moot jack is?
36:19
Damian Dunn
Yeah, they're delicious.
36:21
Peter Dunn
No, you've never had a moot jack? A moon jack. Looks like a goat and a deer went to dinner together, and it went well. You know what I mean?
36:31
Damian Dunn
How do you spell moot jack?
36:33
Peter Dunn
Kristen, you like that one?
36:35
Kristen Ahlenius
That was good.
36:36
Peter Dunn
M-U-N-T-J-A-C moot jack. It looks like a goat and a deer.
36:44
Kristen Ahlenius
Okay.
36:45
Peter Dunn
Got into some heavy petting or something. I don't know. That was a little graphic. Yeah, you see, it's like a jackalope looking thing. Have you ever seen such a thing?
36:56
Damian Dunn
Native to South Asia and Southeast Asia. Are you sure you were in England?
37:02
Kristen Ahlenius
They just got on a plane.
37:03
Peter Dunn
They don't know they were there. I'm not kidding. Anyway, I think it's called the Reeves Munt jack specifically, but no one cares. No, no one cares. Okay. Anyway, so we're in the middle of nowhere, and we're trying to go to this soccer facility to train in the middle of nowhere, because that seemed like a good idea. And our bus driver and his age doesn't matter, but it was probably if you added a couple of our ages together, but that doesn't matter. He pulls over the coach and by the way, there was a lot of confusion around the coach because the bus is called a coach, and we had coaches on the bus, but they're called managers, and there was someone managing the trip also called the manager. And so there was a lot of confusion. Who's on first? The coach pulls over and the manager not our coaches, but the manager of the trip says to the driver, why are you pulling over?
38:00
Peter Dunn
Right. Because she was this lovely woman who was a former bobby, right?
38:04
Damian Dunn
That's right.
38:05
Peter Dunn
She was a former police officer for 30 years. Now. Why are you pulling over? And then he goes, I'm trying to figure out where to go. And then she goes, well, are you lost? And he goes, I'm not lost. I just don't know where I am. It was hilarious. We're in the back of the coach and just going, I'm not lost. I just don't know where I am. And so that has become like the Liverpool accent. It was love. I'm not lost. I just don't know where I am.
38:40
Damian Dunn
I bet that poor man said that a dozen times in his life, at least.
38:45
Peter Dunn
Oh, my gosh. He sounded like a Beatles lyric. It was so good. So good. All right. A lot of fish and chips. A lot of fish and chips. Yeah, a lot of fish and chips. Okay.
39:03
Damian Dunn
Next thing, they come with newspaper.
39:06
Peter Dunn
No, where I was. No, not where I was. Here we go. M 32. Where are we going to start back with this thing? Where do we want to go with it.
39:14
Damian Dunn
You gave, like, five things you wanted to talk about.
39:17
Peter Dunn
Damian. Damien. You bring us back. All right, here we go. I'll bring it back. I'll go right to you, dame. You've got it. You've got your handle on this? In three, two, one. Back on the Pete the Planner show. We call this the Damien Dunn segment of the show. He's identified several things of how to cover the dynamics of breadwinner. Is being a breadwinner a thing anymore? Do the dynamics of gender change that? Is it better to have one income or two? What happens in households based on those ideas. Damian. Damien. Take it away.
39:56
Damian Dunn
Pete, you brought up something really interesting at the end of last segment that I'm not sure I ever thought of that I would love to get your and Kristen's opinion on. Is the concept of breadwinner. I think you said offensive at this point. Is that what you said?
40:13
Peter Dunn
Yeah. You've never considered that?
40:15
Damian Dunn
No, I'm just going to shut up. I'm going to listen because I am not sure that I am tracking on this.
40:24
Peter Dunn
All right, well, maybe the best place to go is with Kristen here, and then I will jump. Don't so dame let me ask the question. Then you tell me if it's a fair way to ask it because I want to make sure we're capturing what you want. Kristen, I think my question don't answer it is can you conceive of the idea that the concept of breadwinner could be offensive? And then maybe the second part of the question is it offensive? Dame? Is that what you're getting?
40:55
Damian Dunn
Yeah. Okay, let's go with that.
40:57
Peter Dunn
Chris?
40:59
Kristen Ahlenius
I think that it can be offensive, and I think that most of the time oh, that's tough. Most of the time, people maybe when they say that don't realize, I feel that it discounts the work that the non breadwinner might have to do. Whether that's like if let's say that you have the traditional I'm using air quotes household, you have one income earner and then the other does everything else the grocery shopping, the cleaning, picking up the kids, et cetera. Calling the breadwinner that I feel like just dismisses all of the other work and the emotional labor that other partner does. So I think it can be offensive depending on who's saying know.
41:47
Peter Dunn
I agree with how Kristen said it. Jordan in our livestream on Facebook Live. Noted. It can be weaponized for sure. And I think for me, breadwinner being a compound word. It's the word winner. It's like, why is one person a winner and the other is a keeper? That feels like it could be weaponized. I'll just say this. I am the only breadwinner of my home. If you want to go that direction and when Mrs. Planner was down with the flu or COVID or whatever we get these days. And I was in charge of literally everything for like ten days. I was the loser. It was awful. I was doing both roles poorly, as opposed to just one role poorly, which I typically do, which is win. Yeah. Dame I do think breadwinner can be offensive, but I also understand people's perspective who are like, man, you're just really overthinking it.
42:50
Peter Dunn
It feels a little cancel culture ish.
42:53
Damian Dunn
Yeah, I think that's still where I mean, I guess I can understand I understand Kristen's sentiment and how that can be a very horrible situation for somebody to put, and I don't think that necessarily has any bearing on the term that I use for that. I think if you're just being a jerk about it, you're being a jerk about it, regardless of what phrase you're going to use for that. But I don't know.
43:22
Peter Dunn
I am influenced by experiences I've had when I was a financial advisor. I mean, there were times when I felt like the amount of money a person brought into their house equated to votes as it related to financial decisions. And so it was more the act of that dame versus the words, which is offensive. You get into allowances, you get into, well, I deserve this because I make more. I think that's where the rubber hits the road in this conversation is, does the amount of money you earn equal or equate to maybe it's a better way to say it equate to you being able to spend a higher percentage of discretionary money. So, Kristen, how do you get your head around that?
44:10
Kristen Ahlenius
I think that if you're having those conversations in your household, then you don't have to worry about Dame. If Dame is using that word or someone, I shouldn't say Damien, because then we'll get emails if someone is using that term, and they are saying that in a way that I personally feel is a little malicious. I mean, if I've had that conversation in my household or if in your pete, like if you and Mrs. Planner have had that conversation and you're comfortable with your household roles and dynamic, then does it really matter what I think or what Dame thinks or what anybody else? Like, if it works for you?
44:49
Damian Dunn
Yeah, I guess I don't care about the word. I care about the actions that are behind it. Pete, as you said, your experiences have been colored by your relationships you had through financial advising, and I've had some of the same to some extent, but I look at the personal relationships outside of the professional world into the personal world as well. And I don't care what word you use. Just be a good person, be a great partner, great spouse, and figure it out. If you're being a jerk, put some word to it. Maybe some more colorful than breadwinner.
45:21
Peter Dunn
Yeah. I think about the days from a financial planning perspective. In my early days, was trained via the lens of life insurance, right. I started working for a life insurance company, that version of financial planning, and that evolved. But anyway, I remember going out in joint appointments with older, more experienced, seasoned, hard ridden life insurance salesmen. And man, the words were also loaded. They were also loaded as they'd sit down at a kitchen table. And oftentimes we would come against a one income household and then to talk about ensuring the non breadwinner or the homekeeper and man, honestly, it was gross at the time. In the year 2023 years later, have you watched an old Eighty s or early 90s sitcom or something, and you watch and you're like, there is no way you could get away with saying that today. There is no way.
46:23
Peter Dunn
Even like always sunny in Philadelphia, if you watch the first episodes of that show, which was like 20 years ago or whatever, no way you could get away with that. And I agree with that same sentiment from a financial planning standpoint of there are ways we used to talk about money in these households that are admittedly gross.
46:47
Damian Dunn
Now, I can only imagine some of those conversations when you're talking in a one income household and trying to make that pitch. And it's a very reasonable argument that you need to have life insurance on the stay at home parent. Some of the things that were probably said in the way they were phrased just really minimizing that individual and their efforts, putting value to them, but still saying, well, you got to have somebody to do this.
47:17
Peter Dunn
While I'm not dismissive of hurt feelings here, but I don't want that to be the point. I think the biggest challenge here is if there's a relationship separation and it's a male centric financial plan, and then you've got in this conversation today, you've got the other partner just left on their own. I mean, that's how I think when you talk about women's financial planning and women's retirement planning, it all comes from this misogynistic is a little strong but gender specific financial planning method. Kristen, is there any truth to that?
47:55
Kristen Ahlenius
Yeah, and I think that to summarize that is that I love zone defense, like in household tasks and responsibilities, but you can zone defense too hard. And I don't think that personal finance can be one of those areas that just one person has control over.
48:11
Peter Dunn
Well, that's a whole other segment that's super interesting. There is a study a couple of years ago I read, I think it was in the Times that just said that the percentage of household work that men think they do versus what their female partners think they do are so different. And I read this and I was feeling very up on these things. I went home to Mrs. Planer and was like, yeah, this article, because I'm like this percent. And she was just like, enjoy the couch, pal. Enjoy.
48:47
Damian Dunn
I fluffed the pillows.
48:49
Peter Dunn
Yeah, I know. That was my 10% of my contribution. Okay, coming up after the break, biggest waste of money of the week and current events. It's been two weeks since we've done current events, so I don't know how current they'll be, but they will be here, right here on the Pete the Planner Show. I'm Pete the planner. All right, my final story from London I'm going to share today, not that anyone cares about any of this stuff, is the coolest part of our trip. The best part of our trip, other than this weird one. I saw my roommate from my freshman year in college at the Tower of London randomly standing right next to him. Right next to him.
49:32
Damian Dunn
So weird.
49:33
Peter Dunn
So weird. The strangest thing is, this is when Mrs. Planner and I met, is that time of my life. And so she knew him, too, and he left after the first semester and went to Purdue after. But, like, it was so weird. So weird. Here's the best part of the trip. Damien, you brought up the US. Women's National Team, which I'm a massive fan, and I love to watch all of their matches. So went to something called the Finalissima over in London, and it was England's Women's National Team versus Brazil in this big game called the Finalissima, which I'm still struggling to understand, other than because you call it that, it's that because it's just a made up thing in preparation for the Women's World Cup later this year. And so went to that match at Wembley Stadium, one of the largest stadiums in the world.
50:26
Peter Dunn
It holds 90,000 people, and there were over 83,000 people there to watch this women's soccer game. It was the coolest sports moment of my life. It was unbelievable. It was an iconic stadium. Wimbley Stadium. Iconic, right? And it was also cool, as the father of a daughter, to see 83,000 people super excited about women's soccer. It was amazing. My story sort of peters out here, other than to say I could show you some video and pictures of this thing. But what ends up happening is no one cares about this. Man, I'm so glad I'm sharing it. England dominates the first half, goes up 10. Brazil sort of dominates the second half. Five minutes left in regulation. Brazil scores, gets what's called the equalizer. So it's one. And because this Finalissima is a made up game of which they're just like, hey, we need to have a winner, instead of going to extra time, which you typically do 215 minutes periods and extra time, so you play 30 more minutes of soccer.
51:30
Peter Dunn
They did what are called PKS, which are penalty kicks, so they each get five chances to score on the goalie from what's called the spot. Okay? So PKS are, like, the most exciting thing in soccer, and that's how the game ends, and it happens right in front of us. England wins in PKS. And so, again, for the football people listening. Unbelievable. For those that don't give a rip, believe me, it was so amazing, man.
51:57
Damian Dunn
How hard were you blowing on those vuvuzaleas?
52:00
Peter Dunn
You know, there was no vuvazaleas. The vuzuelas. But my kids Ted, of course, has like an, you know, with like the three lions on and he's like, England. And I'm like, you turn like we won the revolutionary war. Anyway. All right. Oh, hey, look who jogo. Hey, speaking of excellence. Hi, Jogo. Good to see you there on the live stream. All right, let's do biggest waste of money in the week and that whole thing. Okay? I cannot wait to tell you.
52:41
Kristen Ahlenius
I cannot wait.
52:43
Peter Dunn
I could not possibly do it on here for 1000 reasons. But you're going to die. You might die. The show might be just me next week because it's unbelievable. Okay, here we go. In three, two, one. This week's biggest waste of money of the week right here on the Pete the planner show is patrick's BW one body wash. Patrick's B. W. One body wash, dirt, sweat, and anything else that might find its way onto your skin. I'm going to use my timeout here in the fourth segment. What a weird piece of copy that is.
53:30
Kristen Ahlenius
A little bit.
53:31
Damian Dunn
That was not a great lead.
53:33
Peter Dunn
Dirt, sweat, and anything else that might find its way onto your skin. I feel like I should be grossed out, but it's so obscure. What does that even mean? All right. Is nomad body wash. Using a formula packed with multivitamins and antiinflammatories and antioxidants, BW one body wash helps to stimulate collagen production and gently remove impurities from your skin to keep breakouts at bay and keeping natural moisture intact. As if that isn't enough, I'm not sure it is. It also has a masculine smell led by Bergamot, cognac and amber for a subtle, refreshing fragrance. Okay, Kristen, this is body wash. I don't know if you've ever been to a hotel that has a whole canister that slapped to the wall that you just keep pumping away at all. The body wash, the body can desire, depending on whatever, find its way onto your skin. But what do you believe that 200 ML, which isn't a lot.
54:39
Kristen Ahlenius
I don't know how big that is.
54:40
Peter Dunn
What, you haven't been to London recently? 200 ML is going to be like 6.8oz. Okay.
54:45
Kristen Ahlenius
Okay.
54:47
Peter Dunn
I think that's right. Let's see if your boy's right. Culture 6.76. Wow. Okay. This body wash, I mean, this is basically like axe body wash. What do you think it costs? Yeah, what do you think it costs? Okay, Damon.
55:11
Damian Dunn
I was going to say 42.
55:15
Peter Dunn
You guys, this is the greatest moment in the show's history. It's $45 prices. Right?
55:24
Kristen Ahlenius
Rules. I lost.
55:26
Peter Dunn
That's unbelievable. You two. Excellent.
55:29
Kristen Ahlenius
Thank you. It would be double that if it was a product for women because it said collagen in it.
55:37
Peter Dunn
Have you guys ever smelled someone that their skin for some reason, takes on the smell of soap better. And it lingers. Yes. All I ever want to do is smell like the guy that really holds on to Irish Spring. Well and I walk into a room and people's nose get flooded with Irish Spring, but I'm not like something about my skin can't hang on to the soap smell. But other people, they walk in and it's like that's one soapy, mama JAMA. How is that happen? Does it have to do with the oils in your skin or something?
56:08
Damian Dunn
I have no idea.
56:09
Kristen Ahlenius
I have no clue.
56:10
Damian Dunn
I know exactly what you're talking about though.
56:12
Peter Dunn
Kristen, do you know what we're talking about or Damon and I, are we like crazy?
56:15
Kristen Ahlenius
No, I know what you're talking about because one of the products I use is coconut and vanilla and it smells so good, and you just like, can't, it's gone. I don't smell it anymore.
56:26
Peter Dunn
Like, I'll put on a few sprays of cologne and it still can barely make it past my shirt collar where other people, I'll see them give one spray and they're putting it off all day. I don't get it. Is it the heat your body puts off?
56:37
Damian Dunn
No, I'm very exothermic. So that's not it.
56:42
Peter Dunn
Wow. You know who I bet smells like soap in a good way? Steven.
56:48
Damian Dunn
Oh, yeah.
56:49
Peter Dunn
Yeah. He wears capri. Dame. What's in the news this week?
56:53
Damian Dunn
When was the last time you purchased something and you weren't asked for a tip?
57:02
Kristen Ahlenius
London recently.
57:03
Peter Dunn
I was just in London and are you finished? Yeah.
57:09
Damian Dunn
He's drinking. Not only are they requested to tip on purchased goods and services increasingly common, but the amount of the traditional tip has also been on the rise for decades. During the 50s, people commonly tip 10% of the bill by the that had jumped to 15%. In 2023, people typically tip anywhere from 15% to 25%. Consumers on average said they tipped more than 21%, according to CreditCards.com survey. In May of 2022. What we're seeing is a nationwide tip fllation experience. At every opportunity, we're being presented with a tablet asking us how much we'd like to tip, said etiquette expert Thomas Farley. The coronavirus pandemic put more upward pressure on tipping. During the height of those days, consumers started tipping for those things they had never had before to service industry workers. In February of 2020, just before the pandemic began, food and drinks, specifically the share of remote transactions when tipping was offered was 43.4%, according to square.
58:10
Damian Dunn
In February of 2023, that share was 74 and a half percent.
58:15
Kristen Ahlenius
Yeah.
58:16
Damian Dunn
Meanwhile, if people were willing to give the person delivering food to their home a 30% tip for service, why not ask for if they'd like to tip when they come to pick it up? Restaurants started doing this more often, and that practice hasn't ebbed. Kristen, has asking for tips gone too far?
58:35
Kristen Ahlenius
Yes, it has. I'm a good tipper, but there are some things that. I will not.
58:49
Peter Dunn
I tip, but I'm sick of it. I have some hot takes. Buckle up, everybody. No carry out. I will absolutely tip on carry out, but it's going to be like $5 if I order $100 worth of food. I'm not tipping $20. No one did anything. They packaged the food and handed to you. If they're coming back and forth to my table, I'll give you 2020 5% because you have to talk to me. I read an article the other day. DoorDash drivers are so upset when they get shorted on. They'll park outside restaurants that are super expensive that are like 200 $300 orders and then get mad if they don't get like, a tip. And they'll be like, it's unfair. And it's like, there is nothing unfair about that. If I order a steak versus a side of coleslaw, you're not involved with that at all.
59:57
Peter Dunn
And so I'm like, that drives me nuts is the oh, boy. Oh, gosh, why am I doing this? But the idea that, yes, you should absolutely tip your DoorDash driver, absolutely. But what I order has anything like what is in the bag that theoretically is the same weight affects how much I pay you makes no sense. You're not even involved with the restaurant. It makes no sense. It's like FedEx charging more for more valuable things in a package versus less valuable things in a package, no matter how much it weighs. It makes no sense. Oh, my gosh, I need a drink.
01:00:37
Damian Dunn
Wow.
01:00:38
Kristen Ahlenius
In the news game.
01:00:44
Peter Dunn
Why do I don't even care. I don't care, by the way. I got all heated.
01:00:49
Damian Dunn
The idea came to Johnny Taylor Jr. Early last year after one of his employees made a case that her technology position could be done anywhere. She wanted to leave Virginia, where she had held a job at a society for Human Resource management, a professional association based in Alexandria, and she wanted to work remotely in North Carolina. Quote then a light bulb went off, said Mr. Taylor. Instead of having the employee work in another state, he outsourced her job to India, where his organization is saving around 40% in labor costs. Welcome to the next wave of remote work, kids. During the pandemic, millions of Americans worked from home and many decamped to cities like Boise, Austin, and Phoenix. Companies learned that employees could be productive from afar, thanks to remote working tech like Zoom and Dropbox. Now companies are responding to lingering labor shortages and rising wages by sending jobs overseas.
01:01:43
Damian Dunn
There's more, but we're going to have to wrap.
01:01:45
Peter Dunn
I did not see that coming.
01:01:46
Kristen Ahlenius
I did not.
01:01:49
Damian Dunn
7.3% of us senior managers surveyed are going to start moving jobs abroad because of remote work.
01:01:56
Peter Dunn
I will say this. We have an offshore worker that we all work with and we love him and he's great. And that wasn't because we tried to do things cheaper. It's because in that particular area of what we needed done. The labor market was so hard, that was our only option. We pay him the equivalent wages of what we pay people here. And so there's that aspect because of how highly skilled he is. But then, oh, my gosh. I never considered it's like, okay, fine. Remote's the way to go. This is remote. Oh, my all right. Hey, that's all we got time for. Sending good vibes. Good vibes. Are all that's in the budget. I'm Pete the planner. That's Kristen. That's dame. We'll see you next week. See you next week. What is this, dick Cabot show?
01:02:46
Damian Dunn
It's a new streak.
01:02:52
Peter Dunn
Tired? I got a head cold. It's from London. London, England.
01:02:58
Damian Dunn
Little fog travel.
01:02:59
Peter Dunn
I'll tell you this, when I was there, I dropped some pounds. And by pounds, I mean money. I did lose a pound weight.
01:03:11
Damian Dunn
Really?
01:03:11
Peter Dunn
A couple kilos? Yeah.
01:03:13
Damian Dunn
I think that's very admirable to be on vacation for that long and actually.
01:03:17
Peter Dunn
Come back on the were doing, like, 13,000 to 17,000 steps a day, dude. It was intense. All right, can we go off the air so I can tell you this horrendous story, please? Hey, it's good to be back with all of you. I missed you. But all I got for you right now is stay. Getting money.
